Hi There.

Just wanted to pop in for a little update, since I haven't been by in a while. I am still pursuing a nursing degree. Last night I completed a CPR training course. It was like a CPR course on steroids because it is for professionals in health care. They also teach you how to use an AED (automated external defibrillator). If you don't know what that is, it is basically like one of those things from the movies and TV shows that doctors use to shock a person's heart. Except with an AED it analyzes what is going on in the heart and delivers the shock itself, if necessary. It is portable so it can be brought to any scene and isn't on a big cart like a defibrillator would be at the hospital.

I really enjoyed my CPR class. I took one back in high school, but it has been so long that I am obviously not still certified. Not only did I not remember most of the rules/procedures, they have all changed so much since I last took the course. I really liked reading in the book about different diseases and how the heart works and all of that good stuff. Most of it was pretty basic, but I was happy to realize that I am super interested in this and excited to get started on my CNA training class.

My CNA training class starts on Oct.12 and I'm really excited. I know it is going to be a nasty job full of the nurses' bitch work, but I can't wait to get in the field and help patients and start learning and experiencing the environment.

I have also signed up to do some volunteering. I start volunteering for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society next week, and have a volunteer interview with my favorite local hospital in October. Hopefully I will also be able to volunteer for the Red Cross and other organizations. I want to be involved in everything I can possibly be involved in, but with school starting that leaves very little time.

As for my boy situation, I now know that talking about it on the blog isn't a curse, because this last guy didn't work out and I didn't even blog about him. Oh well. NEXT!

OH! This is exciting...a friend and I are planning on going to NYC for New Years Eve! I'm so excited. I haven't been to NYC in about 5 years and I can't wait to get back. It is my favorite city, by far. If anyone reading is going to NYC or knows someone who is going for NYE let me know! I've been doing some research, but I just don't know what to do about the actual New Years Eve. There are all access passes for an ass-ton of money, then single bar tickets, and me wanting to be in Times Square...so many things to think about! Any and all suggestions are more than welcome!

Hope all is well with any readers out there!

Major Life Change

Hey kiddos. Long time, no see. Since I’ve been so MIA from the blog world, I’ve made a huge life decision…I’m going back to school. To be a nurse.

First off, I’ve always had an interest in medicine. I’ve always known I don’t have the drive to become a full-fledged doctor, and I used to be an all or nothing kind of girl. So when deciding on a major in college, I ruled out any medical career and instead chose the safe route: telling myself that with a business degree I would have so many more options; surely there would be ONE I would be passionate about. WRONG.

After 2 years in the business world, and one bachelor’s in business administration later, I have finally decided I detest everything about the business world: the lies, having to be so professional you can’t crack actual jokes, the rigid structure. I stuck around in this field for so long because I was scared of change.

Now it is time for me to kick change in the ass. I’ve done a lot of growing as a person over the past two years, and it is time my professional life reflects my personal life. I want to be passionate about my career. That’s just it - I want a career, not a job. So I explored many possibilities in the medical field such as dental hygiene, etc. Nursing seems to fit my likes, abilities and expectations the best. I’ve talked with family and friends and I’m super excited about it, y’all.

Since I have a business degree, I need to take some more prereq courses before I can apply for nursing school. I have also sent in an application to volunteer at 2 local hospitals. I’ve been sending a cover letter of intent to become a nurse and my resume to doctors’ offices all over the area in need of a front desk person (allows me to use the skills I have while also learning more about the medical field). I’m researching like crazy and really digging my heels in deep. Tonight I have an information session on a CNA training class. I hear super gross things about being a CNA and I understand that they get all of the bitch work, but I need to start somewhere, and if that is the only paying job I can get for the next year or so while I work on my prereqs then that is what I will take. Being a CNA will give me first hand experience with patients and great exposure to the nursing scene.

There are more information sessions for various schools/programs coming up next month, so my goal is to have a set plan by the end of September as to when I expect to be able to apply to nursing school and which degree I will pursue.

Since my life is going in so many different directions right now, I probably will stick to my sporadic posting. As for reading blogs, I just don’t have time anymore and I am SO sorry for that. I truly love reading blogs and keeping in touch with people I have gotten to know, but it isn’t realistic for me right now. I hope you all understand!

If you have any suggestions for my new career path, please do not hesitate to share!

Hey from Oklahoma!

I've been to Arkansas and Oklahoma on this trip to visit my family.
And I must say it has been amazing. My moms side of the family is in
AR and we went there first. My moms sister remarried about 15 years
ago but I haven't connected with or accepted her new husband into the
family (in my eyes) until this trip. I'm so happy to say that I have
finally, 15 years later, I can call him "uncle". It feels great that I
have grown as a person and am now able to learn from him and love him
as a family member. It sounds cheesy-but true!

I am now in Tulsa and I feel like this is my second home. I love my
dads side of the family so much. They are honestly the nicest people I
know. I'm thinking of looking into moving here if my job search keeps
running dry back home...we'll see!

Just another tid bit - I learned how to shoot a gun on this trip. It's
fun. Haha. I'm def getting one if I ever live on my own. But I need
some practice!

Sent from my iPhone. - This explains the short, choppy message and any
spelling mistakes! I'll report more when I get back!

Blog Pimpin

Hi there! I don't have much to update from my personal life...but I do want to help out a dear friend who has started her first blog! She is witty and fun and has started her blog to sort of expand on Twitter.

Go over to http://nottwitterblog.wordpress.com to check her out! Her posts will be straight forward, raw thoughts. It is great dry humor to give you more than a 140 character break in your day!

Oh and PS - I am traveling to Oklahoma soon to visit family so I hope to have some posts about my travels!

This One Goes Out to My Runners

As I mentioned in my last post, I'm training for a 10k. I have always wanted to get my nutrition right but can't quite figure it out. Now that I'm training, I definitely want to make sure my body is getting what it needs. Does anyone out there know a good website (not mypyramid.gov) that can help me figure out the right nutrition for my body? Preferably without a fee...

Thanks!

Hello Loves

Yes, I do realize I'm a terrible blogger but at this point in my life I'm not really motivated to change that. So I've decided to just be a sporadic poster until I can get creative and really do this thing right. Until then, I will post updates on the major changes in my life.

Job hunt: The position with the IT company didn't work out. Too bad because I was really excited for it (the $ to be quite frank) but I totally understand because they need a sales person, and I'm not really into that. I'm not bummed out about it either because I know everyting happens for a reason. I'm still sending out resumes and still hunting. I sent out 7 today! Hopefully I will hear back from at least 1!

Home life: I moved back in with my parents this weekend. It's not going too bad. That may be because my mom has been out of town and she is the one that I butt heads with the most. I like how so many thing are free now - that's the best part!

Current job: I'm still not doing much. I have, however, talked to both of my bosses now and they both know where I stand and are willing to help me find something else, I think. There has been no talk of me leaving for certain yet, so I hope to ride this out until I find something permanent.

Boys: Talked to Navy Boy last week about me being OK with him seeing other girls. I was forced to bring it up by The Dentist since The Dentist knows I'm kind of hanging out with another guy. It's all good though and me and Navy Boy are still friends and still talk. I really like him but it just isn't realistic for us to be building a relationship when he is 600 miles away. As for the other boy, my lips are still sealed. You don't know how hard this is for me not to gush on and on about this guy and what's going on. I would love to get y'alls advice on the situation, but I'm still testing out the blog-boy-jinx thing. I hope to find some solid ground with this guy in a month so maybe I'll be able to report back with good news then.

Other: I signed up to run a 10k with my sister in September. I'm nervous but excited and have been pretty dedicated to progressing as a runner this week. Today I hope to do my longest outdoor run yet - 3.65 miles. I know it's not much, but I have super bad shin splints so I have to SLOWLY increase my distance.

Until next time...have a great day!

Changing Jobs is Fun...NOTTTTT

Ask and you shall receive - thanks for the feedback on that last post! I don't know what I'm doing with my life...but there has been some development since I updated last. I landed an interview with a great firm here in Raleigh. They do IT stuff, but I would be joining as a ‘marketing associate’. I met with the girl Friday who I would be working with and let me just say this: she kicks ass. Not only did she tell me she ‘works hard and plays hard’, but also dropped the F-bomb during the interview. She is only 2 years older than me and seems super fun and outgoing. We instantly clicked and she was relieved to have found someone similar to potentially work with. For this job, we would be going together to events, hosting lunches/dinners, and basically just networking and being the face of the company to drive in business.

So I had a follow up interview with the CEO and COO of the company yesterday. F-bomb girl was also there, which made me feel a little more comfortable. I stumbled over some of my words, and probably could have given better answers, but overall I feel pretty good about the interview. I felt really prepared going in, which also helped. Since F-bomb girl was so excited during our first meeting, I kind of expected to be hired right there on the spot, but I wasn’t, and that kind of disappointed me. They said they were considering a couple other people and they would be in touch (which doesn’t sound good to me). I’m not as confident about getting the job as I was before the interview, but still hopeful.

More on the job front…I had a discussion with one of my bosses yesterday about my ‘future’ and told him that I want to eventually go back to school so I need a job that would allow me to take care of myself financially while also saving up for school. We decided that there isn’t room for me to grow into a position that would allow that at my current company, so it is now known that I am looking for other jobs. My boss even mentioned some names to help me get started and, I think, is even planning on reaching out to some people himself to help me out. I didn’t expect him to do that, so I’m super grateful.

I’m in a weird place now though, because I need to talk to my other boss about it, which can be tough. It is also weird because when discussing with Boss #1, it was kind of implied that I document all of the processes I know then leave, I guess. I feel like that is what he wants because he asked how long he thought it would take for me to get everything documented. So I’m not really sure how long I’m supposed to stick around. I’ll bite the bullet today and talk to Boss #2 and hopefully get some more clarity.

For now, I guess I’ll just stick to looking for marketing jobs, and maybe take some classes at the community college to learn more about graphic design. I’ll keep y’all posted on whether I get offered the ‘marketing associate’ position at the IT firm – say a prayer for me, I REALLY want it!

In boy news, I’m still talking to Navy Boy a few times a week, but haven’t planned a trip down to visit him because of all this job stuff going on right now. There may be another potential boy in my life, but I don’t want to blog about him just yet. It seems like each time I blog about a boy it ends badly, so I’m going to try to wait this one out and see if it is some kind of blog curse. Ha.

Happy Hump Day!

The One Where I Want All of My Problems to be Solved by My Readers

Readers, I need your help. I need someone to figure out what kind of job I would be happy in. These are some things I want from a job:

-ability to be creative
-lucrative (duh)
-not sit behind a desk all day
-interaction with other people

Is that SOOO much to ask for? Because, apparently it is. I have been dealing with a quiet nuisance that is now SCREAMING at me since graduation in May - I don't know what to do with my life. Do I really want to do marketing? No. Did I just waste 4 years of my life studying marketing? Maybe.

Shit.

I will be talking with my boss in the next couple of days about my future; more specifically, my future at the current company where I only work about 12 hours a week. I have a feeling that after this discussion, I will be without any kind of job (other than babysitting).

So, I realize that I will probably have to go back to school. But my greatest fear is that I will go back for something I don't like and will have wasted not only 4 years of school, but 5 or 6 at this point. What do I want to go back to school for?

Here are some career options I am tossing around in my head right now. I ask of you, readers, to give any feedback you have what-so-ever on these degrees/professions. I want to get as much information possible from as many sources possible before I go and make any more decisions on my future.

1. Pharmaceutical Rep
2. School for Advertising/Graphic Design - then a job in this field
3. School for Dental Hygienist - ditto above

Thoughts?

PS-Sorry I've been MIA lately, but this struggle I'm having with myself is really taking it out of me. I will try to do an update on Navy Boy shortly, and should be getting back to Foodie Friday this week. Thanks for sticking with me!

Navy Boy Update

Hi! Sorry, I've been MIA. I really have no excuse...but I do have a Navy Boy update! This past weekend, we talked a lot! I cleared the air about how I feel about him, and we both came to the conclusion that we 'like' each other (I feel like I'm in middle school again HA!). But that is just about as far as the conversation went. We didn't discuss the future or anything. He still wants me to come visit, so I want to plan a trip down there in the 2nd half of July! I'm super excited, and I hope this trip actually happens.

Other than that, there isn't much going on in my life. I'm still half-heartedly looking for jobs. I'm looking in the event planning industry, or maybe the hospitality (resort, specifically) industry. Too bad those choices are both suffering in this economy. If any readers out there have some connections or suggestions for these industries, I would love the help!

Now I'm off to catch up on my reader...I'm scared to see how many there are.

Weekend Recap

Navy Boy and I went down to the beach this past weekend! It was really really bitter-sweet. I really like him! But I wasn't sure how to act all weekend because he is leaving tomorrow to go to FL and probably won't be living back in NC anytime soon. We rode down to the beach together and had a great time. Then once we got there it was so childish. Neither one of us knew that the other liked them, so we kind of just acted all weird around each other. We did kiss though! Which makes me smile just thinking about it! HA! I feel like a little kid right now.

Here is the deal: The Dentist tells me that Navy Boy has 'no game'. Which he is definitely right about. Well, I'm one of those old fashioned southern girls that believes that the guy should make the first move and all of that good stuff. So I just kept waiting and playing off of how he was acting - which was shy. Ahh! I wish I just would have taken the plunge and flirted a little more to show him I was interested. Then maybe he would have felt more comfortable.

Whatever. I still believe that everything happens for a reason, and if we are meant to be together we will. Navy Boy mentioned several times that he would like for me to come visit, so I want to plan a trip ASAP. He told me the drive from NC to Pensacola was only 8 hours. Google Maps says it is almost 12 hours. I'm definitely leaning towards flying there. There is no way I could spend 12 hours in a car! The catch is, I may or may not feel weird going by myself...so I would need to talk The Dentist into coming as well, and maybe even my sister because she may feel weird if I'm taking a trip with her boyfriend without her. I should just get over feeling weird about going by myself and just do it. We'll have to see how things play out once Navy Boy gets down there and settled.

Any suggestions/comments!?

Foodie Friday.

I have only been in the kitchen to make cereal, sandwiches and salads lately, so I don't have a crazy good recipe for you. But I have found, thanks to Dad, these great little peanut butter bars. I usually have one mid-morning to get over that hunger that sets in at about 11 AM. They are made by Nature Valley and are called Sweet & Salty Nut Granola Bars. The only flavor I have tried is the Peanut, but I think there is an Almond and maybe one or two others. If y'all are looking for a great little pick-me-up snack that has a reasonable amount of calories (170 to be exact), get these bars! Here is a picture to supplement your imagination:

JUNE 19.

Will be the best day of my life, so far. I might be exaggerating, I don't know what has been the best day of my life so far...that is kind of depressing, but off topic. Back to the good stuff. On June 19 two of the greatest things will collide:

1. BRITNEY SPEARS IS COMING TO NORTH CAROLINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHMIGAHOHMIGAHOHMIGAHOHMIGAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! June 19 is the day the tickets for her additional North American tour dates go on sale!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to go see her super bad when she was in Atlanta, because that was the closest, but now she is coming to my home state! Only an hour away from where I live!!! I might jump up and down just thinking about it. (I know what you are thinking, "Britney Spears!? Whaaaa!?" Give me a break people, she is crazy but so am I, what of it?
2. June 19 the new iPhone comes out! What what! I'm super psyched because I have the first generation iPhone, thought about getting the 3G, but now I'm super glad I waited for the 3GS. It has a VIDEO CAMERA! and so many dank-ass features! I simply can not wait. And it is only $200!

Who's psyched? Who's psyched? Who's psyched? Who's psyched? MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I want it to be June 19 right NOW)

Jinxed.

So this weekend isn’t looking so good anymore. I definitely jinxed myself by talking to everyone I know about going to the beach with Navy Boy. Here is the deal (I have to tell the story so I can stop fuming about it in my head): My sis and The Dentist (her boyfriend and Navy Boy’s best friend) are going down to The Dentist’s beach house this weekend. Well, as it turns out, his parents are also going down. That means there would be two couches available – one for me and one for Navy Boy. However, I’ve never met The Dentist’s parents and I’m 100% sure that would make for a super awkward weekend. My friend that I usually stay with has graduated from a college there and moved away so I am left with no place to rest my head at night.

All of a sudden what promised to be a great weekend turned into a shitty weekend. Most of my friends here in town will be gone too! Making weekend plans really stresses me out. Especially since this will be the only weekend Navy Boy is in town! Everything would be fine if my sis and The Dentist would be willing to just stay up here this weekend instead of going to the beach. SIGH.

OK now that I have ranted about that, I just have to wait for Navy Boy to call so we can figure all of this out. I’ll keep you posted.

Moms.

I love my mom. OK, with that said, she is on my nerves lately. Big time. As you may or may not know, I have lived away from home for 4 years. Now that I have graduated college and don't have a solid job, I will be moving back into my parents house in August. The lease on my current apartment was a 14 month lease. Both of my parents knew this when they signed the lease and agreed to pay my rent. No one ever brought up the fact that I would be graduating 2 months before the lease ran out.



In the past few weeks my mom has been making snide remarks such as, "Well you can come up to our house and help out since we are paying your rent for the next two months." Every time I talk to her she slips something in, "Well we are paying your rent for you." Yesterday was the breaking point. I jokingly pointed out a ring that I wanted, knowing clear as day that I wouldn't be getting it, and she took off with it. Mom chose to say that she wouldn't even consider buying anything for me since she just 'took me on a very nice vacation' and 'is paying my rent'.



OH NO SHE DIDN'T.

The 'nice vacation' she was referring to? was a weekend trip 4 hours away from home. This 'vacation' was completely paid for by her company - it was work for her. I missed a wedding just to go on this 'vacation' because I didn't want to leave my dad high and dry while she worked.

And yes, Mom, you are paying my rent because YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD when we signed the lease.


Then she goes on to criticize me for lack of job-searching. I told her I have applied to about 10 different places in the past couple of weeks. She said, "Well maybe you should communicate better." No, MOM, I don't really want to communicate all of my failed attempts to find a job. It is rather embarrassing. I graduated with a 3.67, Magna Cum Laude and can't find a decent job. No, thanks, I don't want to communicate that.

GIANT SIGH.

Anyways, lets end on a happy note. Here is the ring I am in love with:

It is a John Hardy blue topaz ring that just happens to be on sale at Gilt for $325 when originally priced $650.

Pet Peeves

OK I talked to Navy Boy yesterday for an HOUR on the phone...ah. I'm usually not a big phone person, but the boy can keep some conversation alive! I'm pretty sure we are going to be hanging out this weekend. We may even be going to the beach together. No solid plans yet though, so I don't want to jinx anything. BUT...if we were to go to the beach together, he would be picking me up and we would be in the car together for over 2 hours. So, I starting thinking last night of topics to discuss and get to know each other better during the drive. The only thing I came up with was pet peeves. I think this is a great topic because if the other person points out a trait that you have, then you can work to correct it before it gets on their nerves. GENIUS!

I've been trying to think of my top 3 pet peeves...but it is harder than I thought. A TON of things bother me, but I can't freely recall them. Here is what I have come up with (in order of biggest pet peeve to medium-sized pet peeve):

1. A mooch. You know that friend that always promises to buy the beers if you buy the shots? Or lets you over-draft on your bank account because they didn't pay their bills on time and doesn't apologize or pay extra? Or always eats your left overs? (If you are a loyal reader you may know who I am referring to here).
2. A nonsensical liar. This one may be confusing, but there is one person in my life that drives me crazy with her lies. This person will tell a blatant lie for no good reason. I understand white lies to make people feel better and what-not. But why tell someone you don't know, and will never see again, that you ran the NY Marathon when, in fact, you have never even run a half-marathon? WHY?
3. Bad drivers. I'm not referring to the ass-hats that cut you off on the freeway, but more the stupid women (sorry ladies) who don't use the clearly designated TURN LANE to turn. Instead these idiots choose to slow to a complete stop in the left lane (read: fast lane) and then proceed to turn. These drivers are also usually the ones going 30 in a 35, or fail to see the Speed Limit 55 sign and continue to go 45.

What is your biggest pet peeve? Do you have any other topics you think I should bring up if Navy Boy and I wind up going to the beach together?

Dreams and Navy Boy

I had a dream last night that was unbelievably realistic. Most of my dreams are pretty realistic, but this one was out of control. I was dreaming that I had a boyfriend who loved me so much, and I felt the same about him. This is going to sound so cheesy and pathetic, but I could hold onto his arm when I was sacred, he would be super affectionate to me, and I just felt safe and happy.

Then I woke up and reality hit. I don’t have a boyfriend who is like this, turns out, I don’t have a boyfriend at all. And although I woke up and the feeling of having that person was gone, I was still in a good mood because I know, one day, I will find that person. There is a little part of me that is TERRIFIED of not ever finding someone, but most of the time I truly believe I will. I haven’t had a ‘real’ boyfriend in a year and a half. I have had spurts, i.e. Dru, but nothing solid. I really want to find someone who loves my company as much as I love theirs.

Maybe this is all on the heels of Navy Boy. He is supposed to get back into NC today. He graduated OCS on Friday and is now officially a Naval Officer! I’m super proud of him for getting through it all but I’m definitely nervous. He will be here for at least a week and a half, but could stay until June 29 (when he has to report to flight school in Pensacola). If he stays in NC all the way until then, he will have negative vacation days and have to work a ton to earn them back. When I talked to him Sunday it sounded like he wasn’t going to take the full amount of time.

Also, I’m nervous because we haven’t been talking as much as we have in the past weeks. I definitely understand that I was an emotional crutch going into this thing because I was a girl who he had a lot in common with right when he left. I was someone he could talk to for hours besides his parents and guy friends (who would probably give him hell for some of the things he said – haha). So yeah, I realize that, but I guess I’m hoping that we get along for better reasons than that. I was hoping we actually got along because we enjoyed each other.

I am kind of realizing now that he won’t be around for 3 months, so there isn’t really a great chance of this turning into anything. At most he will be here for 20 days then go off to Florida. Turning a friendship into a relationship from 725 miles away is virtually impossible. But I’m not completely ruling anything out. We haven’t set a definite time to get together while he is here, but I’m assuming something will work out. I am waiting until that happens to really determine what I think the future holds for us. If we hit it off and things go great, I will continue to have hope. If things are mediocre, I will understand that we are just meant to be friends and that will be that.

Also, I’m a big believer in the phrase ‘what is meant to be will be’ so I’m just going to let that carry me through this situation and not stress too much.

Vacation!

Sorry kids, no Foodie Friday again. I'm on vacation! Well, a mini-vacation at least. I'm going to the Wild Dunes resort in South Carolina for the weekend! It will be a weekend full of relaxation, sun, the beach, fruity drinks, good food, and golf with Dad. I'm super excited!

Have a great weekend y'all!

MY Idea.

Yesterday's post was about sale websites...so it got me thinking. There are tons of great sale websites that send you emails notifying you of the latest greatest sales. Some of the ones I am a member of are Gilt Groupe, Sale Mail Shop it to Me, and Rue La La. Sale Mail is the only one that allows you to tailor the notifications to your liking (shout out to Diana!). And they definitely let you tailor it. You can specify certain brands, sizes, types of clothing, etc. It really is great. But there are still TONS of results to search through each time an email comes in.

Here is my idea: have a website like Sale Mail, but allow it to be even more customizable. For instance, the first email they send you can contain exactly what I would normally get from Sale Mail - thousands of items. Next, you would go through these items and mark which ones you love, like, and dislike. You wouldn't have to put a preference for all of them, but just the ones you have a feeling towards. I mean, we all do it, right? You are scrolling down the page and you see a hideous dress and think, "Oh, ew. Who would wear that!?" or "Dangggg I would look goooood in that!"

So after a few emails, the database can get a feel for what you think is attractive and what you think is f-u-g-l-y. Then from there on out, you can still give preferences, but the emails don't come with thousands of items. And the things they send you are items you would generally favor.

GENIUS! If anyone out there knows some techies that are looking for a new adventure, direct them towards this post. I could definitely get behind this.

PS Let me know if you want to be invited to any of these sites. I think a couple are invite only.

Guilty.

I am a member of this online sales thingy called Gilt Groupe. It is totally free and they basically just tell you when dank ass designer clothing, shoes, accessories, etc. are on sale. I haven't bought anything from them yet, but the Michael Kors shoes I came across today are REALLY REALLY REALLY tempting. At such great prices! AHHHH! Here are some of my faves:

The first one is called 'Beach' and is $98 on Gilt Groupe (originally $225)! The second is called 'Sage' in 'Gunmetal' and is $168 on Gilt Groupe (originally $375)!

I'm seriously debating the 'Beach' shoe. I'm super into wedges right now. But I don't have anything like the 'Sage'. Buttt 'Sage' is too expensive for what I would consider spending right now. I'll let you know if I get one of them.

PS If you aren't on Gilt Groupe (and yes, there is no 'U' in guilt for them) but want to be, just leave a comment with your email address and I'll send you an invite!

Back on the 'Book

Back in October/November of '08 (why does that sound like so long ago?) I deactivated my Facebook account. I was definitely overusing the addictive social network and all it was causing was emotional distress. Sounds serious, right? Ha. I hate to admit it, but I mainly used it to keep tabs on people I don't even really like and people who aren't a part of my life anymore (i.e. ex-boyfriends). I put up tons of pictures because, in my mind, if I was looking at their pages so much, then they were looking at mine just as much. (What a stupid way of thinking).

It makes me cringe how much I relied on the stupid website to keep me updated on gossip and irrelevant information. And I must say, deactivating the account was the best thing that ever did happen to me (as far as internet dependency goes). Without an account, I realized I could live, much happier I might add, without knowing what and who everyone was doing.

Why did I reactivate it if I was so happy without Facebook? As it turns out, I am in the marketing field and you are expected to be on most if not all social networks to prove that you can use new media effectively in order to get a job. Joining Facebook again hasn't gotten me a job yet, but I'm hoping it will help in the long-run. I have set some ground rules for myself though, so I don't fall back into old habits:

1. No logging onto FB unless I get an email notification or need to research a potential employer
2. No adding photos (I took down all previous photos)
3. No browsing friends, updated sections, etc.
4. Took down 'Wall' and the ability for friends to write on it

I realize this makes my FB page super boring, but all I really want FB for is the ability to network (if I ever get around to doing so) and keeping in touch with friends since we are all splitting up. Oh, and of course, so I can tell potential employers that I am an internet-savvy, perfect candidate.

So if you are a reader of my blog, and want to see what I actually look like (since I keep my face hidden on this blog) send me an email (jyandbbatgmail.com) and I'll let you know how to find me on Facebook. I do want to be friends with the ones I trust!

Loss.

Today marks the 3 year anniversary of a good friend's death. Ever since the first soccer practice of the season in 7th grade (8th grade for her) we were pretty good friends. I remember that day almost perfectly. We were on the far side of the field throwing chest bounces and headers to each other. Being the ridiculous little girls that we were, we decided to give each other nicknames. We each had our own, but over time we both called one another 'Fufu'. Fufu and I had a great time together...we got in trouble together then volunteered together, gossiped together and went to the beach together. I knew Fufu had some problems, such as depression and bulimia, but I never thought it affected her the way it obviously did.

While volunteering away our troubles at the soup kitchen one morning, we made plans to go to the county fair that night. When time rolled around for her to come pick me up and she didn't show, I called her, left messages, and to be honest became quite frantic. I couldn't get in touch with her and that was just unheard of. Later I found out that she had gotten into a mysterious car accident on a back road. No other cars were around when she crashed into a tree. She had not been drinking or anything, but claimed to have reached down to get a CD and made a mistake. I still wonder, to this day, if that was not just an accident.

I became increasingly distant from her since the start of college, but I knew I could always count on her if I needed anything. Going back to my hometown during the first Christmas of my college career, I saw Fufu for the first time in a long time. It was so great to see her but, she looked thin and I could tell she was doing drugs. I knew she had kind of gotten into some bad things in college, but I knew deep down she was still a great person. That night I promised her after the party we would get together for some quality time. She called me that night, many times, to take me up on the offer. I was with my boyfriend, asleep, and didn't see the calls until the next morning. I never called her back.

3 years ago today, Fufu commit suicide.

Why didn't I step in and try to help her when she obviously needed it? Why didn't I just call her back the next morning? The last time I saw her she was drugged-out at a party.

But that is not how I remember her.

I remember her on the green-brown grass of the soccer field, long, black, frizzy hair pulled back in a pony tail, red Umbro shorts with a red and white t-shirt giggling each time she said 'Fufu'.

I remember her frowning at me in disgust when we had to put on hairnets and latex gloves at the soup kitchen.

I remember her white jean skirt covered in rust from using it to open apple flavored Bacardi-O at the beach.

I remember her as a great friend and nothing less.

Fufu, I bet you aren't reading blogs up there in heaven, but if you are...I love and miss you every day!

Dude. I'm Boring.

Yeah, sorry about the lack of posts. Nothing has been going on in my life. The Orlando job I referred to in this post? Probably not going to happen. They needed someone ASAP and it would have taken me 4-6 weeks to get down there. So, I'm back on the hunt. Good thing they didn't even offer it 'cause I got no help from my blog people. Ha...only kidding...I know it is my own fault I don't have readers. I blog sporadically and usually about nothing. Who wants to keep up with that?

I noticed recently that it is about time for my blog-o-versary? It will be one wonderful year on June 18!

In other news, Navy Boy gets back in about a week! I think he will have a week here in NC then have to go down to FL where flight school is, and then may or may not come back up here for a few months. Sigh. The military is so uncertain, it drives me crazy! I'll definitely have to blog about his return. I'm already a little nervous. What is the interaction going to be like? Awkward? Is he still going to like me as much as he did before he left?

No Foodie Friday today, people. I haven't been cooking that much because I'm trying to eat all healthy. And yes, I realize you can be creative and healthy, but I'm just not there yet. But I have been catching some DANK recipes on Food Network this week. If you didn't know, it was Grilling Week, so there has been burgers, ribs, and chicken galore! Hopefully I will try one of the recipes out next week and have a FF for you then.

Have a great weekend y'all!

Giveaway

Y'all, on the real, go check out Diana at Our.City.Lights. Her blog is GREAT and her giveaway is superb as well.

I promise it is well worth it. Anyone who is willing to go out and buy a Marc Jacobs bag for her readers is a great asset to the blog world!

Trained

I know myself. I know that when I go shopping on the internet, or anywhere for that matter, that when I spot something that is expensive or by a particular designer, I will like it much more than if it were a cheap, unknown brand. Shallow? Maybe. But that is just the way I am. I pretty much believe that the more money something costs, the better it must be.

Since I am getting kicked out on my butt by my parents, financially speaking, I can't live this way anymore. So I have adopted a method of looking at the picture of the piece of clothing/jewelery/handbag, etc. online BEFORE I look at the price. I thought this was a sure-fire way to discover what styles I liked without being influenced by price/designer.

Well, kids, as it turns out, apparently I have trained my eyes to only pick out the expensive stuff. As I scrolled through Nordstrom’s half-yearly sale, I looked at no prices, just pictures. The only things that stood out to me in the accessories section were all $1000+. I’m scared to even move on to the clothes. Does this happen to anyone else?!

Foodie Friday!

Here are a couple more recipes from my Cinco de Mayo a couple of weeks ago:

Guacamole

Ingredients:
3 ripe avocados
2 limes, juiced
1 sm-med tomato, seeded & diced
1 sm white or yellow onion, minced
1 sm jalapeno, seeded & minced
1 lg. clove garlic, minced
1/4 c. cilantro, chopped
S&P

Method:
Remove flesh from avocados (let me know if you need a tip on this - but I think pretty much everyone has seen it done on Food Network), combine with lime juice, onion, jalapeno, garlic and S&P. Mash together with hand held potato masher, or put in food processor/blender if you don't like chunks. Fold in tomato and cilantro.

Grilled Corn Salsa (courtesy of Michael Chiarello)

Ingredients:
10 large ears corn, husked
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for brushing
Salt and freshly ground pepper
8 vine-ripened tomatoes, about 1 pound total
1 cup diced red onion, 1/4-inch dice
4 tablespoons red wine vinegar, or more to taste
1/2 cup julienne fresh basil leaves


Method:
Brush the corn liberally with olive oil and season well with salt and pepper. Grill, turning every few minutes, until light gold all over and cooked, about 12 minutes. Let cool and cut off the kernels. Discard the cobs.


Core the tomatoes and cut a small X on the bottom of each. Brush with olive oil, season with salt and pepper, and place on the grill, X side down, away from direct heat. Cover the grill and cook until the tomatoes begin to soften but are not cooked all the way through (or they will melt through the grate!), about 15 minutes. Set aside until cool enough to handle, then peel. Cut the tomatoes in half crosswise and squeeze out the juice and the seeds through a sieve into a bowl. Reserve the juices and chop the flesh.

Put the onions in the non-reactive medium bowl and toss with 2 tablespoons of the vinegar. Let marinate until the color changes, about 10 minutes.

Add the chopped tomatoes, reserved tomato juice, onions, basil, and 1/3 cup olive oil to the corn. Toss well. Taste for seasoning and adjust with salt, pepper, and remaining vinegar.

Serve with tortilla chips or as a topping for tacos.

MY INPUT: I made this and used only 1/2 of the corn and only 1/2 of the tomatoes, and it still made a TON. The tomatoes put off a lot of juice, too, so based on how watery you want your salsa, you probably won't need it all. He says it is best eaten the same day, but we ate it for at least 2-3 days after we made it (refridgerated, of course). If you want it to keep longer, I would just suggest adding the basil as you go, rather than all at once to prevent it from browning.

ENJOY!

I Need Your Help!

Ok, so as of this morning, nothing was going on in my life. That has changed. At 2 PM today, I had a preliminary phone interview. I'm going to try to outline most of the points and I really want to hear back from y'all and get some outside advice. Please please please!

Here goes...this job would be another internship that pays the same amount as my current internship. Except it is in Orlando, Florida. My parents have said they will be able to help me out financially, but I would still need to live pretty basic. It is a marketing internship with a prominent new hotel opening in the fall, but would be giving me more sales experience and not as much creative marketing experience as I had hoped. One big downside is that I would have to find a roommate and place to live. Also? If I get the job, I would need to start ASAP...meaning in 3-4 weeks. This is a problem because I will basically be paying rent for 2 apartments for a month.

As for the interview this afternoon, things went pretty well. I could have done better though. It is like I prepare for a few questions, but not the ones they ask. It's so frustrating because I get tongue-tied and wind up saying "uhhhhhh" the whole time. Anyways, when I wasn't saying "uhhh", I was busy trying to BS my answers. If only they could give me a heads up on which questions they will ask...like they do for the celebrities on talk shows!

Well at the end of the conversation, the guy tells me that I really need to research how hotels do most of their business. Meaning, how they market to big companies and associations to get them to bring their business meetings to this specific hotel. How in the world am I supposed to RESEARCH this?! 

So I beg of you...any and all advice! Do you think I should take the job (if it is even offered)? Do you know anything about hotel marketing or anyone you think I could learn from/read about? Any and all help would be greatly appreciated!

Life and stuff.

I haven't been blogging much, because there is nothing going on in my life. I'm still working the same job that I have been working for 2 years. I am out looking for other opportunities, but as it turns out, the first thing companies get rid of in an economic downturn is the marketing activities. I just graduated with a marketing degree. Yay me.

Navy boy is still in Rhode Island, but comes home in like 2 weeks! He just told me that when he gets home, he will be here for a week then have to go down to Pensacola where he will eventually start flight school. Depending on if flight school is back-logged, he could come back home for a couple of months.

The thing that bothers me most about the military is how uncertain everything is. There is never really a long-term plan because they can just up and surprise you and say, "Hey you. It's time to go here." Oh well, I've decided to not get too emotionally invested unless he finds out he can definitely come home for a few months.

Hopefully, I will get a sweet job somewhere (preferably in another city/state) so I can start a new life and start moving forward. I feel like if I stay here, there are not that many opportunities, and I will just be doing the same thing over and over and hanging out with the same people over and over. I'm ready to meet new people and have new experiences. So I guess that is my goal.

Anyways, I wish I had more exciting things to write about, but I don't. I hope everyone has a great Memorial Day weekend!

Foodie Friday!

One recipe from Cinco de Mayo (others will follow next week):

Chicken Enchiladas (original recipe thanks to Rachel Ray, but I've tweaked it somewhat)

Ingredients:
4 c. chicken broth
4 pieces boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 bay leaf
1 spring fresh oregano (or 1 tsp. dried)
1 large onion, chopped
1 sm. can tomato paste (6 oz I think?)
2 tsp. chili powder
1 tsp. cumin
2 1/2 c mexican blend shredded cheese
Pkg. small corn tortillas
Salt & Pepper (if needed)

Sauce:
4 c. tomato sauce
1 tsp. ground cayenne
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
2 tsp. chili powder

Method:
Bring chicken broth to a boil and add onion, oregano, bay then chicken. Cook about 10-12 mins. or until chicken is cooked through. Bring chicken to cutting board and let cool. Remove onion from broth (with slotted spoon or strainer-but save some of the liquid!) and place in a separate bowl and add tomato paste, chili powder, cumin. Use two forks to shred chicken and place in bowl with other ingredients. Add some of cooking liquid if mixture is dry (I usually use about 1 c). Season with S&P, if needed.

While chicken is cooking, combine all sauce ingredients in small sauce pot and warm through. Place tortillas (I usually need 8-12) in paper towel and warm in microwave.

Preheat broiler. Spoon about 2-3 tbl. chicken mixture in each tortilla and place seam side down in large casserole dish. Repeat until chicken mixture is gone. Pour sauce mixture over entire dish and then cover with cheese. Put under broiler for about 5 mins. or until cheese is melted.

ENJOY!

How am I Still Alive?

Graduation went well, and I was successfully drunk for about a week straight. The festivities began on Cinco de Mayo when Roommie and I threw a small dinner party for some friends. I made Chicken Enchiladas, Guacamole, and this dank grilled corn salsa (I will post all of these recipes for Foodie Friday tomorrow). We basically had a great time, great food, and of course, some wonderful margaritas. Long story short, we started hanging out with a friend (we will call him “Tuck” for the purposes of this blog) that we hadn’t seen in a while. He also brought over one of his friends. I need to think of a nickname for this kid, but nothing comes to mind except he has a funny laugh – and does it all the time. But that is kind of hard to put into a nickname, so for now he will just be “Tuck’s Friend”…let me know if you come up with something better.

Tuck’s Friend had just broken up with his girlfriend of 4 years about a couple of days into our party bonanza. It may or may not have had anything to do with the fact that he was hanging out at our apartment for days on end. But nothing scandalous happened! I promise!! He is so not my type. So of course, this event just propelled more and more partying then graduation came and that didn’t stop anyone.

Finally Wednesday of this week rolled around and we figured we should probably clean up our act. There was no going out last night, but I can’t say the same for tonight. The local trendy outdoor mall here hosts a beach music night every Thursday. It is fun to go see all the pretty dresses (90% of which are Lilly Pullitzer), dance and drink.

I’m super psyched about hanging out with Tuck and Tuck’s Friend so much. They are funny and nice southern boys who like to have a good time. And they respect Roomie and I so it won’t get all weird like some girl/boy friendships do. Yay for new friends! Ha.

Anyways, got to get back to work. But I did talk to Navy boy a couple of times this weekend, and he should be done with the hard part of OCS this week and be able to have his phone and go out on the weekends from now on. Woo! Less than a month till he is done! I hope he gets to come back to NC so I can actually spend some face-time with him!

Tomorrow!

I've been MIA mostly because I've been partying for the past few days in a drawn out celebration of the end of college. Tomorrow is graduation, so the partying continues when I leave work today for another 3 or so days. Ah. My body is getting worn out. But I can't stop! I've got friends coming in town and plans here and plans there. Got. to. push. through.

In other news, nothing is going on in my life. I haven't heard back about a job that I REALLY WANT, and Navy Boy is still up in Rhode Island but gets done in less than a month!

Have a great weekend y'all!

Graduation Countdown

It is officially 7 days away now. But I feel like that doesn't even matter. I had my last exams Thursday, so I am actually done with college. It felt really weird. Bittersweet is definitely the perfect term for the situation. Bitter because it means I have to be a real adult now and can't use the 'oh I'm a college student' excuse. And sweet because that means NO MORE TESTS AND GROUP PROJECTS!

Some things I will strangely (or not so strangely) miss about college:

• The Library - although the reason for going there always sucks, once I get there it is like a little adventure. Me and my friends always become giddy...throwing paper and whispering. Also, at my library coffee shop, they serve these things called Tiger Brownies. They are TO DIE FOR. I need to find a recipe, but it is like chocolate chip cookie and brownie in alternating columns on top of a coconut crust. I'm salivating just thinking about it.
• The parties, duh.
• The extremely HOT boy in most of my business classes.

Some things I will NOT miss about college:

• The school work, duh.
• The hideous smell of manure when they put new soil all over campus twice a year.
• Trying to look busy as you walk to class to avoid talking to random acquaintances.

I found a graduation dress this past week. It is Lilly Pulitzer, and even though I said I was disappointed with her collection, I must say that this dress is not on her website (and I can't find a picture of it anywhere). But I'll keep looking and post it as soon as I have something. In the meantime, this weak description will have to do: pink and white design, with white boat neck collar and a key hole near the collar in the front and back.

Foodie Friday

Foodie Friday! Woo! And y'all...I LOVE this one. It is Ina Garten's BBQ sauce that she uses to put on Chicken. But I guess you could really put it on anything you would normally put BBQ sauce on (pork chops, tenderloin, ribs, etc). I make a big batch and use it throughout the week since I am only cooking for one.

BBQ Sauce

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups chopped yellow onion (1 large onion)
1 tablespoon minced garlic (3 cloves)
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup tomato paste (10 ounces)
1 cup cider vinegar
1 cup honey
1/2 cup Worcestershire sauce
1 cup Dijon mustard
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 cup hoisin sauce
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 tablespoon ground cumin
1/2 tablespoon crushed red pepper flakes

Method:
In a large saucepan on low heat, saute the onions and garlic with the vegetable oil for 10 to 15 minutes, until the onions are translucent but not browned. Add the tomato paste, vinegar, honey, Worcestershire sauce, mustard, soy sauce, hoisin sauce, chili powder, cumin, and red pepper flakes. Simmer uncovered on low heat for 30 minutes. Use immediately or store in the refrigerator.

FYI: I took this right from foodnetwork.com. But I just had to spread the word because it is DELICIOUS!

I Know I'm Not Supposed To Do This:

Talk about my job on my blog. Beware, there is profanity. I don't even care. I'm fucking fed up. Yes, I am an intern, but NO I do not deserve to be treated like shit after busting my ass for this company for 2 years. I've done almost everything under the sun, from organizing events to lugging 30 lbs of paper up two flights of stairs while the 6' 11" Boss man #2 sits surfing the internet all day in his office. Offer some help to the 5'1" GIRL LUGGING YOUR FREAKING PAPER UP THE STAIRS?!?! NO. He wouldn't do that, because that would be lowering himself to my level.

Let me recall a particular event that probably occurred 6 or so months ago. Yes, it bothered me at the time, but I didn't let it get to me - until now.

Setting: my office (main reception room with 5 cubicles) Boss man #2 is holding a box full of brochures or something as he talks with an acquaintance in the reception area. I'm sitting in my cubicle unable to see the two men.

As they talk, I hear the box rip and fall to the floor, the contents spilling. Laughing ensues, and Boss man #2 actually says this exact statement then says goodbye to the acquaintance, and walks into his office, "HAHA Don't worry about it the intern will get it." Then calls my name.

Let me break this down for those of you confused by my shitting writing when I'm mad: my boss actually spilled the contents of a box onto the floor, laughed about it, DIDN'T PICK IT UP, degraded me in front of a complete stranger, then assumed because he is the boss he doesn't have to bend at the waist. WELL SCREW HIM.

I wasn't really sure what was going on so I never responded to him. A few minutes later, I heard my colleague picking something up off of the floor. Apparently, Boss man #2 actually left the shit there expecting someone else to pick it up! I felt bad my colleague was having to do that, but I was just so stunned that I couldn't even move!

That was the most memorable thing to happen to me in terms of feeling like shit here at this company. 'Company' is a strong word actually...there are a grand total of 4 of us working here, which includes the two owners, the other two of us are interns. Another time Boss man #2 pissed me off was when he asked me to do his daughter's homework. I'm not even going to get into that.

Today, set. me. off. I am always professional in front of my bosses, so today I waited until he left and came straight here to rant. My boss today, asks me to locate ceiling tiles to replace some damaged ones. I realize the other two events seem much more degrading and drastic, but this little shitty request was the final jenga block pull that made the tower fall.

Let me just brag on myself real quick to give you an idea of WHY I should not have to endure these base requests:

1. I am graduating in 11 days with a degree in Business Management - Marketing (what part of locating ceiling tiles is related in any form or fashion to marketing?)
2. I am graduating in 11 days with a degree in Business Management - Marketing MAGNA FUCKING CUM LAUDE. Yes, blog readers, I am smart, and my bosses either don't care to see it or don't want to acknowledge it.
3. I have worked here for 2 years, without so much as a performance review, don't even begin to think raise.
4. I expressed to Boss man #1 how much I intend on focusing on advertising/PR/design marketing once graduation is done (Yeah let me get some good ad campaigns going after I get these CEILING TILES)

So, I've come to a conclusion. If you can recall, I blogged about the possibility of growing here at this company. Well, kids, I'm throwing that one out the window. I in no way want to continue to be a part of this company any longer than necessary. I realize that even if I do get promoted to marketing coordinator, they will still always see me as an intern and I will more than likely be doing the same base jobs PLUS intense marketing campaigns.

It's time to hit the job trail hard. Wish me luck! And thanks for listening to my rant. There is so much more I have to say on the topic, but I realize this post is super long so I'll save it for another day.

Graduation Countdown

There are officially 16 days until I am a college graduate. I have no solid job to rely on when I'm done with school. But guess what? I'm not even worried! My mom met a guy on a plane a couple of days ago who had a marketing internship position I could apply for. That is a huge stretch. And it is Orlando...so I don't know. It would be a cool job, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I definitely want to get out of this city though.

If any readers know of marketing/PR/advertising firms anywhere with a good reputation just drop a comment, I'll check anything out!

Oh and apparently companies are offering tons of internships now because hiring/firing costs are serious. So I know it sucks to have an internship after college, but I might have no other choice.

Moving on, I am in need of a graduation dress. Apparently dress makers across America banned together and said "Let's make a bunch of dresses that Sarah Elizabeth will hate." I just sifted through over 700 dresses at Nordstrom and came out with 3...THREE...that I liked (in order from least favorite to favorite):

PS I am outraged by Lilly Pulitzer's current selection of dresses. Normally, I can find at least 20 dresses I'm in love with on her site, but today, I found 3 or 4 that I would consider trying on.

Well I'm off to search for other dresses floating around. But first, check out my pretty new nail polish! Ah! So springy!

In Response to Bitter Sweet Sunday Post

I have actively started doing small things to help out in the community and possibly influence other people after my revelation Sunday. I have sent an email blast to friends and family to recruit a team of at least 10 people to run with me in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. It is here in Raleigh at Meredith College, and if any of you readers out there know people in the area who would be interested, pass my information along! I would love to get as many people as possible to join the team!

I plan on going to donate blood again sometime this week or next. The Red Cross has been calling a lot lately, which means they are pretty hard up for some good blood - I'll just have to give it to them! After my experience last time, I will definitely be taking someone with me!

Finally, I've been looking into helping out at the SPCA. I am an animal lover, particularly dogs. I think helping at the SPCA would be a great volunteer activity for me. I am a little worried, however, that I will become attached to some of the animals, so this one isn't definite just yet. I need to go visit the facilities and really see what it is all about before I make any promises.

What are your community involvement activities? Any suggestions?

A Post About Nothing...Something?

I have nothing to post about today. My mind isn't working well. I woke up to a sunny beautiful day, but I didn't want to get out of bed. I was dreaming about a really hot guy from my personal selling class. Sigh. But here I am at work, bored, like most days.

I had a phone interview for a job I'm pretty sure I don't want yesterday. It went well, I think. I wonder if he could tell I wasn't that interested? Oh well...bragging about yourself and not feeling bad about it is always fun.

Oh...I know what I can talk about! I had a really weird Friday night this past weekend. Remember The Neighbor? Well, after meeting Navy Boy, I kind of told him that there would be no more nights spent together. After I informed him of this, we only saw each other maybe a couple of times until this past weekend. And each time Rommie and I hung out with him and his friends, The Neighbor always seemed to be in a really bad mood.

So...he texts me towards the end of last week, wanting to hang out (not necessarily just the two of us, but do something). Friday night, however, it did wind up being just the two of us. He came over, we had a drink, then we went to a place called Frankie’s Fun Park. It is the greatest! Probably made more for the 6-14 crowd, we were definitely out of place. But it was fun, and we played games and won prizes and the whole lot. The Neighbor insists that we pool all of our tickets together for a birthday present from him to me. A nice gesture, but weird at the same time. As we leave he says, “You are an expensive date.” Of course he was kidding, but it was just kind of awkward.

We get back to my apartment and start downing drinks. We even play drinking games, just the two of us. At one point he moves closer to me and sits with me on the small ass couch in my living room. I was feeling really weird, but didn’t kick him off. Finally, without any further events, he decides that he should get going. I was relieved. I really got the feel that he was trying to make it like some weird date night. Oh well. I am definitely focused on Navy Boy right now, so that makes me happy. And for the record, I do not ever want to hook up with The Neighbor. Just friends from here on out, please.

Bitter Sweet Sunday

I cried today. A lot. For a man who I hardly know. An old headmaster of mine died this past week. I didn't even know he was sick. My sister used to babysit for him and his wife. They have the most beautiful children. I cried so much. I'm crying writing this. I don't know why. I haven't seen or even thought about this man in probably 6 years. He had testicular cancer that no one found until it had spread to his lungs. I hate cancer. I want it to go away and not hurt anymore wonderful people. I'm scared it will affect me. I'm scared I will loose someone I love. I hate death. It is permanent and takes so much away. That sounds stupid, but it is just so scary. The closest person to me to die was a good friend who commit suicide almost 3 years ago. That was hard. I miss her. I don't want to have to miss anyone else I love. 

His wife kept a blog throughout his journey (3 years). I read it today after I heard the news. It is pure, raw emotion. She discusses the emotional journey - even the worst parts. She expresses how angry she was at him for having cancer. And how angry the kids were at him for having cancer. She explained (without sparing any detail) how she felt at every step. I cried hardest when she described a moment between her son and husband. The son was angry at the father for being sick. The son was scared. She described how the father talked with the son and how the son cried so hard his body convulsed. The son is probably 10 years old. I was so sad. I haven't been this sad in a long time.

I knew him as a headmaster, and not much more. But through her blog I have learned what a magnificent person he was. I am relieved for his wife that the long struggle is over, but I am incredibly sad for the family as well. He was a man committed to making education a better institution and I am sad that he is gone. It surprises me how much I am moved by this particular event. Reading her words and how he responded to the cancer, makes me want to live life for every moment. 

I want to make my life great. 

I want to positively impact as many people as I can. 

I want to stop living this materialistic, shallow life. 

What can I do? How do I change my life?

I'll end this post with a positive...Navy Boy called today. We got to talk for 40 minutes and I could hear him much better because he used a different phone. He wants me to come visit! I want to visit. I'll have to work on the details for that. I'll keep you posted.

Live everyday like it is your last. Love anyone and everyone. I'm going to make a change and it feels great.

No Foodie Friday Here

If you look forward to Foodie Friday, you will most likely have to wait until next week. I've got nothing. But I did wear my pretty new suit to a presentation yesterday...it went well, I guess. This week has been hell - lots to do. But next week is 'dead week' then exams, then it is all over. Yuh. College is O.V.E.R. What!? Where did the past 4 years go? And what the hell was I doing all of this time?

And what am I supposed to do May 11th (the first Monday as a real person)? I haven't been going on interviews or looking for jobs. Yeah, slacker, huh? Ever since my boss told me there was possibility of me growing here, I have kind of taken that for granted. I should be creating a marketing plan for him, but I haven't had time. I should be looking into continuing education or other jobs...but I don't have time, and the only jobs out there are sales. I would honestly be the WORST sales person.

So, I guess I kind of don't know what to do now, and the funny thing is? I'm not even stressed about it. Maybe I should be, oh well.

I didn't workout the past two days and it is killing me. I must workout today when I get home from work. It grosses me out just sitting at this desk feeling like I could be doing something productive with my body.

Well that is it for my random thought process. Have a great weekend everyone!

Growing Up Sucks

I got my first ever REAL suit this past weekend. I have only purchased one 'suit' before this, and it was a POS from JCPenny when I was 17. I needed it to go to court for a drinking ticket. Oh me. This time, I stepped it up a notch, or two. I got this wonderful JCrew number.

I got this 'Super 120 2-button jacket'. It is lightweight and comfy. I can move around and it doesn't make me look like a man (my #1 fear with suits).

These are the 'City-fit Super 120 Classic Trouser' that I got to go with the jacket. Just as light and comfy as the jacket.

Thanks to JCrew's student discount, which I plan to use far after I actually graduate, I got the whole number for right around $320! This made me super happy because the only other suit in the WHOLE MALL that I liked was going to run me close to $700! My jacket and pants are at the tailor right now being sewn to perfection. I will be picking it up today, and wearing it out for the first time tomorrow for a big presentation at school. I'm super nervous already - but at least I'll be looking hot!

Bday Weekend Recap

Well, it was my birthday this past weekend (as if you didn't know from the last post - ha). I had a good birthday, but I can say I have had better. I guess it was because I didn't go out at all to celebrate with friends, I kind of felt like this birthday sucked. In reality, it didn't. I'm just being a big, selfish baby. All of my friends were at home because of Easter, so the only one left to go out with was my sister, and she was being lame (she really had a migraine, but hey - get over it! ha). For some reason, I felt really lonely this past weekend. I’m sure it had to do with the fact I didn’t see friends, but I’m getting tired of being the only one without a significant other. I love spending time with my sister and The Dentist because they remind me of Navy Boy, but it also makes me jealous. I want Navy Boy to be here and BE MINE! Ha…I’m sounding like a crazed person. There is only so much couple-ness I can handle.

OK enough of the sad pity party, I do actually have some GREAT news regarding this past weekend. NAVY BOY CALLED! On my birthday! It was bitter-sweet, because we got to talk for a good amount of time, but he was also calling from a pay phone so I could only hear about 50% of what he was saying (it was all muffled and static-y). He told me that the letters I have sent help, especially on the days he wakes up thinking, “What the hell am I doing here?” He has written two letters back to me, but hasn’t been able to send them because he doesn’t have stamps. I asked if I could send him anything (pictures, stamps, etc.), but in his muffled response, I think he said that they weren’t allowed to be sent anything but letters. He told me a lot more about what is going on and all…some of it I heard, some I didn’t…but I was just happy to talk to him and learn that my letters were helping and not coming off as creepy! Haha! Nothing is definite, but he said he would try to call again this Sunday. I hope he does! I hope I can hear him better and get a chance to ask some more questions!

That call really made my birthday 100% better. Now, if he would just come home…please?

OH! And Saturday night I went to eat at McCormick & Schmick’s (a seafood chain) and check it out…!

A happy birthday wish to me ON THE MENU! Woo! I’m famous…!

Remember the Recipe Journal I posted about? I got it for my birthday! I've been a mad woman trying to fill out recipe cards. I have already ordered more because it only comes with 24! I love this thing.

OH YEAH! I almost forgot to say....THANK YOU for the birthday wishes! :) Y'all's comments and Navy Boy's call were the highlights of the weekend!

HAPPY SARAH ELIZABETH DAY!

22 years ago and this exact time (11:14 AM) I was brought into this wonderful place.

Oh yeah, and HAPPY EASTER, TOO!

No News is Bad News

In this case, it is true. I STILL haven't heard from Navy Boy and it has been over 2 weeks since I sent my first letter! For the past few days, I have been freaking out thinking that my letters creeped him out or something. Or maybe he realized what a dork I am and decided not to be interested in me anymore. Well I know this is crazy and a silly way to think, considering what he is going through. I just didn't want to be one of those girls who is totally oblivious to a guy that doesn't like her (thanks, 'He's Just Not That Into You' for getting all up in my head). However, 'He's Just Not...' didn't write a chapter about being with a guy in the Navy.

So I've turned to other resources to figure out if a) anyone thinks my letters actually help and b) why it is taking so long to hear from him. I know a girl who has a boyfriend that is thinking about doing what Navy Boy is doing. He has been accepted into the program and everything. He was able to give me some insight as to what Navy Boy might be going through and the whole situation. Apparently, they try to 'break' you. They do this by letting you have VERY LITTLE, if any communication with loved ones. He also told me that he may have written a letter, but the officers in charge may not have let him send it yet. These officers in charge are apparently ASSHOLES, because the same source told me they sometimes keep the letters that people send to the candidates (Navy Boy) and don't let them have them for a while!

Well shit! I'm writing these letters to make things easier on him, and if he isn't getting them, well that pisses me off! If I find out that some little jackass is holding my letters, I'm going to have to go up there and show these kids what 'break' really means. Ha. I crack myself up. But really, I mean give them a break...I just hope he is getting them. I'm going to keep writing them, because if he is getting them and they do give him something to look forward to, that is all I can do, right?

If any of y'all know anything about this stuff let me know! I have 2985734956278 questions! Well I'm off...tomorrow is my birthday (and Easter) so we are going out to a dank seafood restaurant to celebrate tonight!

Foodie Friday

I forgot to write the recipe down before I came to work, but I made some kick-ass homemade Cesar salad dressing this weekend. I'll give it a stab and make an update announcement if it changes once I look at the recipe again:

Cesar Salad Dressing

Ingredients:
2 eggs
3 tsp. anchovy paste
4 tbl. lemon juice
1 lg. clove garlic
4 tbl. EVOO
1/2 tsp. Worcestershire
1 tsp. dijon mustard
S&P

Method:
In a double boiler, mix the egg, anchovy paste, garlic and Worcestershire. Keep mixing it or else the egg will scramble. Leave it over the double boiler for a couple of mins to cook the egg enough and melt the anchovy paste. Take off and let cool before adding the lemon juice and EVOO.

I put this over some fresh romaine, grated Parmesan, homemade garlic croutons and boiled shrimp:

Boiled Shrimp

Ingredients:
1 lb (usually makes 3 salads for me) of med-large raw, easy-peel shrimp
Old Bay seasoning

Method:
Boil water in a large pot. Throw in a few tbl. Old Bay and shrimp. Cook shrimp until pink and curled into a C. Drain, and put on a tbl. or two more of Old Bay. Peel and add to your salad or enjoy plain with some cocktail sauce and coleslaw or other side.

Garlic Croutons

Ingredients:
Loaf country white bread
2 cloves garlic (cut in half)
EVOO

Method:
Preheat broiler. Slice bread into 1 in. slices and drizzle EVOO on each side. Broil until golden brown (watch out, they burn super fast) and then rub the garlic halves (WHILE THE BREAD IS STILL HOT) over each piece. Cut into 1 in. cubes. YUM.

UPDATE: See added ingredient to cesar dressing!

Blog Pimpin

Thanks to Muffy over at My Friends Are Sluts, I discovered Mich. She is great and her blogs read like a story. I can't wait to hear more about her new man, Tattoo. GO CHECK HER OUT! You could be rewarded for doing so!

UPDATE: I'm a terrible person and spelled Mich 'Mitch' the first time around. Forgive me, I'm not very observant! :)

Foodie Friday

Well I haven't been very creative since the last Foodie Friday and have no new recipes for y'all but I thought I point out this instead:

It is a 'Personalized Recipe & Entertaining Journal' from Williams-Sonoma. This thing is SWEET! You can put recipe cards, print out, menus, notes, clippings, and whatever else in this book! There are labels, envelopes and best of all you can PUT YOUR MONOGRAM ON IT! I'm a huge fan of monogramming anything and everything, so this little diddy is on my top 3 most wanted things for my birthday. I really hope I get this from my parents, but if not, I'm just going to go buy it for myself! It is only $60 and would be so worth it. Right now, I have recipes strewn all over the place: in cook books, drawers and in my head. This book is just what I need to get organized and start recording timeless recipes that I don't want to forget.

Here is a link in case you want to read up on it a little more (or buy it for my birthday HAHA!):

http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/fn466/index.cfm?pkey=xsrd0m1%7C16%7C%7C%7C0%7C%7C%7C%7C%7C%7C%7Cpersonalized%20recipe%20journal&cm%5Fsrc=SCH

Have a great weekend y'all!

I Hate Thinking of Titles

On days like today when I just want to throw a bunch of random thoughts into a post, I can never think of a creative title. It probably has something to do with the fact that I'm too tired to create a coherent post, let alone a title...so I'm lazy and do ones like this. The tiredness? I don't know what to contribute it to...very few nights do I actually get a good nights sleep. More often than not, I lay awake thinking and thinking and thinking and am not sure if I ever really fall into a deep sleep. Last night was one of those nights.

I am leaving to go to the beach today (YAY!) so of course, last night I was all thinking about what to wear and pack and what all I need to get done today in order to leave tomorrow. Some things I wanted to do but will not have time: go shopping (for anything but mainly a new bathing suit), tan and workout. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I generally only have 1 hour to myself in between work and school. It is exhausting. Also, I have a big test today which I am unprepared for. Sigh.

But hey, I'm not going to let this day get me down. Promptly at 5:45 PM I will be in my car, with my best friend (Roommie), jammin to some dank ass music on my way to the beach for a weekend full of beautiful weather, boating, and of course probably a drink or two...or three...oh who is counting?!

I'm super excited for this weekend because I get to spend more time with my sister and her boyfriend (his name from here out will be The Dentist - because yeah, he is in dental school). You may or may not recall that Navy Boy is The Dentist's best friend (that is how we met). So I have been hanging out with Sis and The Dentist as much as I can because he reminds me of Navy Boy oh so much. The Dentist tells me stories about him and does impressions of him and I just love it! I also get to meet The Dentist's brother this weekend...which excites me because I love The Dentist so much that I bet his brother is equally as great. Sis and The Dentist have only been dating for 5 or so months, but I have already, repeatedly, told him that he must be a part of the family. He is great for Sis and a perfect fit into the family.

In a related topic, I expected to get a letter from Navy Boy yesterday because Roommie and I had calculated how long we thought it would take for my first letter to get to him, and then what day we thought they were allowed to send letters, and then how long it would take for his letter to get here. And all of those IF'S, I thought, pointed to me receiving a letter yesterday. But no. Now of course, we could have been off on our estimate of any of the above, so I'm waiting it out until today. If I don't get one today, I'm going to be nervous I have the wrong address, or he is some how not getting my letters. Ah! But no worries just yet...I'm going to wait this one out.

I hope everyone has a beautiful weekend! And thank you to those of you who were worried for my blog retreat...I honestly didn't mean to do it to pull you out of the wood works, I'm just really bad at pulling pranks and that was the best I could come up with!

APRIL FOOLS

I WAS JUST KIDDING! I'm not taking down my blog anytime soon, that I am aware of. Although my reader following has declined, from what I can tell, and I do have a job search to think of, I just can't give up this free place to go and write whatever I want, whenever I want. I depend on this blog like a best friend. I know I can always come here and express whatever is on my mind and not be judged for it. Well, probably judged for it, but silently haha.

And the few readers left? I appreciate the hell out of you and could never leave you.

I realize this wasn't the greatest April Fools' joke, but hey it's all I got for now. Happy April everyone, my birthday is in 11 days (on Easter)!