Dilemma #2

My next dilemma that I would like you input on is this (and I will try to keep it as simple as possible):

Remember Ed? The guy I went to visit in LA? Well...there is a little bit about the vacation I didn't tell you about. Me and Ed were more than just friends while I was there. GASP! SHOCK! Haha...I know.

Ed is one of Gary's (my ex) best friends. Ed and I became such good friends because of Gary. We would all hang out together pretty much every night for 5 years. Yes I said it, people. Half a decade. I practically lived with the boys my freshman year of college because I hated the dorms. So, Ed has always been a great friend. We have never come close to hooking up or anything before this trip - like the idea had never crossed my mind.

But apparently it had crossed his...

So he was really sweet while I was visiting. I honestly don't think I touched a door the whole time (read:he opened all of them for me, duh). He didn't pay for meals (I didn't expect him to) and we weren't obviously flirty in public. But nighttimes were a different story.

I thought things would be awkward that first morning, but they weren't! Not one single bit! And so basically to sum things up, we have been texting almost everyday since I left. (I have been gone for 2 weeks)

Here is where I'm going to sound really girly and childish:
I love talking to him. Every conversation makes me laugh. I know I can text him at the end of a bad day and he will turn my mood right around. Just sitting here right now, I want to text him. I think about him all of the time. So basically, what I'm saying is, I wouldn't mind if things developed.

But we never talked about anything. Like we didn't address the fact that I dated his bf for 5 years and randomly we are hooking up? But I get the feeling that maybe he enjoyed it too. Like maybe he wouldn't mind if things developed either? I realize that long distance relationships are tough (Gary and I did it for a while). And the next step for Ed and me is unclear, but I feel like I want something more.

It is frustrating because Ed lives so far away of course, but it is more nerve racking to know that he needs to move home.

Here is his deal: Ed moved to LA because Gary and a friend had moved out there to pursue a career in the entertainment business...and so did Ed, eventually. Well, he has been in LA over a year now and hasn't really done anything worthy (I know that sounds harsh, but it is the truth). And I know for a fact he isn't making great money - and his parents have cut him off.

So, I have come to conclude that I want him to move home for financial reasons and for me. Hah :)

The next times I will see him are:
Aug 14-19 (I go back to LA)
Sept TBD (He comes home for sister's wedding)
December (Not for sure, but most likely for Christmas)

My question to you: What should I do? Any advice/suggestions/observations would be greatly appreciated!


Joy @ Big Time Fancy said...

Rule Number 4398743098273:
No person should uproot him or herself and move a significant distance to be with a dating partner unless you are a) engaged, b) moving in together, or c) he/she has family living around the intended destination.

I dated a boy who moved TO Chicago FROM Pennsylvania to be with me. It did not work out. He hated his time in Chicago. It was a big messy thing and I felt awful for uprooting his life like that.

Sarah Elizabeth said...

Joy - Your advice is great. I would never want to uproot someone if I wasn't for sure it would work out.

However, Ed is from my hometown and has a very attractive job waiting for him to return. He has also planned on moving back at some point but hasn't picked a date.

You are right in that I shouldn't diturbe his life in LA with the pressure of moving home if he isn't ready.


Elisabeth said...

I agree with Joy - what more can I say!?