Bad Day...so far

Today started out terrible.

Usually my alarm goes off at 8AM and I allow myself to hit snooze one time, resulting in me waking up at 8:09AM. This gets me out of the door by 8:32AM and to work promptly at 9AM.

I have a system and I like it.

Apparently, NOT TODAY.

I casually wake up without hearing the alarm. I think to myself, "Don't open your eyes...if the alarm hasn't gone off, it is not time to wake up." And since I hadn't fallen asleep until 3AM last night I was convinced it was not time.

WRONG.

I actually do look at the clock, just in case, and it is 8:36AM. Four minutes after I am supposed to leave! I waste about 30 seconds thinking, "FUCK!" and checking my iPhone to see if the alarm had gone off. Sure enough it had.

Now here is where I have a problem:
Ever since I got the new update for my phone, it seems to be acting different. This is the second morning I haven't been woken (is that a word?) up by my phone. I don't know what the deal is.

Not only do I have to shove contacts in and slap a weak excuse for make-up on, but I also don't get to make a sandwich (the first step in my money-saving plan that has yet to commence). So now I'm tired and out probably $7 for lunch.

Wait...it gets better.

The slow-ass M.F.'er in front of me on a two lane road HITS A SQUIRREL.

Here is where I get to explain to you how much I love (most) animals. At 16 I was on my way to my boyfriend's house when I ran over a turtle. Believe me I had NO choice - it was a two lane road, on a bridge, with a car on the other side. I bawled. I can not believe I made it to his house in one piece. I could not stop crying for the life of me. We had plans that night and I had totally wrecked my make-up and had to borrow some of his sisters.

More evidence of my love: I went vegetarian for a while because I read a book on animal slaughter. I joined PETA and went all out.

So, back to my original story, when I saw the poor little squirrel run out into the street I thought for sure he was safe...wayyyy in front of the Air Conditioning man in front of me. Well silly little guy did one of those fake-outs where they are unsure whether or not to keep going (back-forth-back-forth-back-forth) and got himself hit. Why haven't they learned!?! I'm sure he has seen some of his relatives get hit before? (Off topic...but...) Why haven't the deer learned too? What happened to evolution...learning from past experiences?

Jebus...what a bad start to the day.