1.24.2009

Dru is Haunting My Dreams...and A Confession

For the past few weeks I have had multiple dreams about Dru and I. In most of them we are back together doing normal things. Here goes the one from last night: my mom, sister and I were in B-ham for some organization she was a member of. They were having a dinner/function of sorts. First thing's first...we get a glass of wine. As we are heading over to the nearest table, Dru, his brother and mom walk up to the same table. We exchange pleasantries (the moms meet) and I'm cracking joke after joke. It was really a fun time, until Dru and I decided to go away from the group and talk. I sat him down and asked him why he disappeared without a word...

Apparently on some paperwork I had filled out there was a question that said, "Who are you currently dating?" (What kind of paperwork is this!?) I filled in the sheet with Dru's name...but put Gary's name out to the side. (Let me remind you here that Gary is the guy I dated for 5 years but broke up with 1.5 years ago) Dru pointed this out to me and said I had also called him Gary before. I explained to him that I have a horrible habit of calling people by the wrong name (this is true) and that I accidentally put Gary's name on the paperwork because I just wasn't thinking. Clearly Gary was a big part of my life and it was just a silly mistake that meant nothing.

As the conversation looked like it was going nowhere and Dru looked genuinely hurt, I told him that I had started to fall in love with him while we were seeing each other, which totally took him by surprise. The conversation continued and we wound up back together. End dream.

Now, I have to make a shameful confession. I haven't told the blog world about this because...well a lot of reasons, but #1 being I am ashamed of my actions. Here goes...sometime after Dru didn't come to visit in November I slept over at Gary's. It was definitely drunk-induced and I regret it for many reasons. Here is my side of the story (even though I know I shouldn't have done it): at the time Dru had just stood me up and was making no visible effort to reschedule, we never did discuss 'what we were' and I not too long before had someone asked him "Is that your girlfriend?" to which he responded "Sometimes" (he didn't know I heard). So obviously, to my credit, we had not discussed being exclusive. However, I see his side as well and know it was wrong.

Here is where it bothers me, during one of my first visits to B-ham Dru mentioned that if a girlfriend of his ever cheated on him that he would never talk to her again no matter what. And well, that is exactly what happened with us. But I wasn't his 'girlfriend' or if I was, he didn't let me know and...this is a big AND...he knows NONE of my friends except rommie. It is out of the question...in no way shape or form would I think she contacted him to tell him that. It is not a possibility so get it out of your head.

So I've come to the conclusion that it would be highly unlikely for him to know about me and Gary. Obviously, for over a month now I have been racking my brain as to what happened. Last night I had an epiphany. We met at a wedding, hooked up and developed a relationship from there. Sooooo....I'm thinking, if he did that with me then he probably had done something similar before and likely to do it again. Which, in turn, would mean that he totally fooled me into thinking he was a great guy.

Enough rant for today...what do you think?

5 comments:

Arielle said...

It seems really unlikely that Dru found out about Gary, so he must have some other reason. I have no idea what that could be though - sometimes guys make no sense (or more like, ALL THE TIME). I wish you lived in Boston so we could go grab a drink (or 7) and vent about ex-boyfriends! =)

angelsroy33 said...

I think he was somebody who fooled you,...unfortunately. But if you are really so curious, why can't you just come right out and call him and ask what's going on? I mean, at least you would know for sure if he was a jerk or not. Who the hell knows what guys think in this situation. Not knowing is the worst,...I won't explain, but I know how it feels,...I've been there TWICE,...but once it did work out,because I married him!!! Hang in there,...dreams really mess w/ your head too,-they seem so real.

Dana said...

i hate to say it but I think Dru just wasn't the nicest guy!! I don't think he heard anything either!! hang in there - you'll find someone you love even more who loves you back uncondtionally!

Mars said...

seems like dru wants to look like a good guy without trying so hard. i met guys like that. until you don't ask em what's up, they'll let you think what you think without correcting you.

Tasha said...

I wouldn't worry about the situation with Gary. You and Dru didn't have "the talk" to define your relationship so you had no limitations for what you were "allowed" to do with another guy... especially when he didn't come to visit you after he said he would! I know you really liked Dru a lot but it sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do before he can be in a real relationship.