To be or not to be...

Warning: This post is about religion. I may/may not offend you. Please don't hate me if I have said things you disagree with. I'm just working my way through the situation and chose to post about it. I in no way judge other people's religious beliefs, so please do not judge mine.

My roommate (and best friend) has always been very religious. Since college, she doesn't go to church 3 nights a week but is still very God-fearing. I, on the other hand, went to church occasionally as a child. I never read the Bible or studied the religion. I only know the main stories that the general public knows and I don't actively attend or practice any sort of religion. I pray occasionally but I feel like I shouldn't since I don't do any other religious activities.

This past Sunday I attended my first service in over 3 years with my roommate at her church here in town. I liked it because there was a band and the service wasn't the boring monotonous droning that I remember from childhood. It was upbeat, lively and geared toward a younger generation.

I want to go back because the sermon and message was therapeutic, but I feel guilty going because I'm not sold on the whole story. I consider myself a Christian and believe in God, but I don't believe everything. So maybe I shouldn't consider myself a Christian? I don't believe that women came from a rib in Adam's chest. And I have trouble believing that one of my best friends from high school who commit suicide almost 3 years ago is in hell for doing so.

There is so much I don't understand about religion, Christianity to be specific, but I haven't given up on it yet. I will continue to go to church with rommie and hope that it helps me become a better person. Whether or not I will ever fully believe is still up in the air.

Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Don't tear me a new one though...


Tasha said...

In my opinion, your thoughts are totally natural and normal so don't feel that you are alone in them. Everyone questions things... and by doing this, it only proves that you are a logical thinker and want to come to your own conclusions. I think this is something to be proud of. It's also great that you checked out the church with your friend. In order to make a decision about what you believe, it's always good to investigate the background info. If it made you feel good to go to the service, that's great!

For me personally, it all comes down to faith. As a scientist and a Christian, I have questioned so many things about religion, evolution in particular. The universe is way too complicated to have "evolved" from nothing in my opinion. The more I learn, the more I feel in awe about the world around me. I don't know if things happened exactly the way they are spelled out in the bible... do I think they "could" have? Yes. Do I think they "really" did? Probably not, but no one really knows.

So, bascially I chose to believe in God because of faith in possibilities. Things in nature and science are just too complicated to randomly occur. Faith in God gives me hope, comfort, and strength in the tough times. Anything that teaches love and forgiveness can't be too bad ;-)

Great post! Very thought provoking!

sarahbelledotcom said...

i'm.. not very religious.. there's too many unanswered questions for me. and in general, too much prejudice, although i would never classify anyone who IS religious into a specific category. i know MANY catholics, christians, etc who are completely fine with the idea that i have a girlfriend, but there's always the other side who will bash gay marriage into the ground.

i, though, like you, really enjoy church. i love the commeradery, the FEELING of being there. and i don't think you should feel guilty because you aren't sold on it. everyone has different reasons as to why the attend church (and why they don't). if you feel good by going, GO! definitely! :)

HG said...

my advice: don't get trapped into thinking that you have to believe something you hear a pastor say in a sermon. the bible is where all the true answers are, denominations interpret them in different ways. God loves the most, is merciful the most, and forgives the most. you're not a bad Christian for not wanting to believe your friend is in hell- you have compassion, forgiveness and love for him...just like The Father!

i'm happy to hear you're interested in christianity. faith is a huge part of my life, both struggling with it and reveling in it!

angelsroy33 said...

I think you should just listen to your thoughts and feelings and see where it takes you. I love what Tasha, and Sarah said,-everyone has their own reasons,etc. So don't feel like you have to put a label on it, just do what makes you feel happy and good. (Hope you don't mind an opinion from a new and hooked-on-your-blog reader.)

biscuitinabasket said...

I am a muslim, and as a child I used to ump out of the religious situations wherever and whenever possible. But as I have grown older, I have identifed that the greatest inner peace that I get is when I connect with the big guy upstairs.

The most important thing is for you to believe in doing the right thing, and following the path which you think is right. As for religious texts - they have always been lost in translation (because a lot of texts/books was traslated based on opinion rather than literal meaning).