Just an update

Well I sent the email to Dru. And he didn't respond. What is going
on?!?!

Depression at Christmas

Hi! I hope everyone had a wonderful
Christmas! I never heard from Dru. No Merry Christmas text or
anything. So now I'm worried he is mad at me for some reason. But I
honestly can't imagine why that would be the case.

But whatever it is doesn't matter. It's over no matter what. I'm just
so bothered by the fact that there was no closure or reason why things
ended.

Some of my family and friends have suggested that if I'm still feeling
this way after the new year I should send him an email wishing him
well for the new year and subtly hint at the fact I don't understand
what happened. What do y'all think? And if you have any suggestions
for getting my mind off of this and out of this depression slump I
would love to hear them!

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL Christmas. There better not be any bloggers out there who got coal... :)

Merry Christmas to everyone, may you and your families be safe, happy and healthy!

Yay for Christmas Eve!

I love Christmas Eve. Almost as much as I love Christmas day. All of the family traditions come out on Christmas Eve. The best tradition we have (and is somewhat embarrassing) is before going to bed, the whole family piles on the couch and my dad reads The Polar Express we each have our own bell, and at the end we all ring them to make sure we can still hear it (like in the end of the story). Other traditions include preparing the meal for the next day, my sister and I STILL sleep together on that night. This isn't weird I swear - it started out so that one of us wouldn't see all the goods before the other and now it has turned into a bonding time for us to catch up on each other's lives and just talk in general. My sister and I also open each other's presents that night, and I generally always make fudge (recipe to come soon!).

However, this year things will be different. My sister will be working at the hospital all day today, tomorrow and the next day. So we won't be having a traditional Christmas meal tomorrow and opening of the presents. Instead, we are eating tonight and doing presents tonight as well. Things will be very different this year, but I am thankful we will all still be together. I will still get the joy of new gifts tomorrow because we will be going to my cousin's house. She has 3 small children (ages 17 months, 7, and 10). I can't wait to see the joy on their faces and spend time playing with them and all of their new toys.

What are your traditions around the holidays?

The 'Dru Era' has come to a close

I'm officially throwing in the towel. As you probably know, I've been having some issues with Dru lately. But here is the run-down: It has been two weeks since I have heard his voice. There have been a few texts in which he has explained his MIA-ness. For example, Thursday I texted to see if he was alive to which he responded saying how hard he is working. His company just signed a $10 million deal and apparently he is in charge of it (on top of being the project manager for a $160 million hospital his company is building). He said he would call later, but hasn't. Friday night (after many hours of Christmas partying) I texted that I had a bone to pick with him. His response was at 5:20 the next morning saying "Come on and pick it...at the farm headed to the woods" (going hunting). So I figure all is well and he has just been honestly busy. When Sunday at 11PM rolls around and there is still no call - I'm pissed. I called him all ready to lay things out on the line and get some answers.

Phone rings 3 times. It sounds like there was a pick-up and hang-up. The reason I say this is because it rang three times then nothing happened. No voicemail or anything. No call back. So I text, "Hey give me a call when you get a chance." I haven't heard from him.

I took all of his numbers out of my phone and deleted any remnant of him from it so I don't relapse and cave in to every aspect of me that wants answers. I honestly do think he is incredibly busy, but probably has some other reason he is not calling me. I know it is not another girl for reasons I won't go into detail about now, so I can't fathom what went wrong. I haven't acted differently...so what is it? What made him loose interest? I want answers and I think it would be mature of him to give them to me.

What made this boy who confessed his love to me, suggested marriage multiple times, introduced me to family, friends and co-workers, and flat out requested I move to Alabama all of a sudden drop it all? Two weeks ago today I asked if we were spending New Year's together to which he replied, "I would like to. We can go anywhere you want. You pick." Obviously, we haven't made solid plans and I'm realizing now, just over one week away, that it probably isn't going to happen. What changed?

It breaks my heart to give up on him because he is everything I ever wanted in a guy. I could honestly see myself marrying him. He is passionate about his goals, has a career, a life plan, is determined, a complete gentleman (held every door open, literally - even the car door), paid for everything and is just a fun person to be around (there are more great qualities but I'll spare you ALL of the details ha). Dru made me want to be a better person and I've never met anyone like him.

I realize, now, that he has flaws that accompany his attributes and no one is perfect. I know what I have to do - not contact him and just wait to see what happens. In the mean time, I'm putting myself back out there. I won't put my life on hold due to the lack of consideration from someone else.

Fear of Computer Failure

Whew. I have had a full week of catching up on my reader and loving every minute of it. It's like reading short books when you have a bunch of one person's posts to catch up on. But one thing I have noticed is that many of my blog-friends have lost their computers due to technical difficulties over the past few months. So I was starting to think, maybe I should save the most important things somewhere other than my computer. First thought: USB drive - too expensive for the amount of space I need.

The one thing that I would be devastated over loosing if my computer crashed is my picture collection. Since I got my computer a little over 3 years ago, all of the pictures from my college days have been stored on it, and I don't know what I would do without them. Sure many of them are on Facebook or have been printed, but the ones that aren't are great too!

Do y'all know of any way to upload all of my pictures somewhere online (where they would be private)? Or another simple way of storing them somewhere else in case of a 'technical difficulty'? (Keep in mind there are thousands of photos)

Foodie Friday

Today's post is dedicated to my favorite breakfast casserole. This is great to make for breakfast or a brunch. You make it in advance and just pop it in the oven the morning you want to serve it...delicious!

Sausage & Egg Breakfast Casserole:

Ingredients:

1 lb. hot pork sausage

10 eggs, beaten

8 oz. container sliced mushrooms

1 large onion, diced

1 can cream of mushroom soup

6 slices wheat bread, cubed

3 c milk

2 tsp. dry mustard

3 c shredded cheddar cheese

S&P

Method:

Brown sausage completely. While sausage browns, combine all other ingredients except bread and 1/2 of the cheese. In the bottom of a large casserole dish spread the bread cubes into one layer, top with the cooked sausage, then pour the egg mixture over the layers. Top with the remaining cheese and set in the refrigerator overnight (up to 24 hours).

Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour. Let cool for 10 minutes before serving. Enjoy! 

Oh - one more quick thing. I am in LOVE with the broccoli and cheddar soup at Panera. I have tried similar soups all over the place and can not find one as good as theirs. If anyone has a good cheddar/broccoli soup recipe please let me know!

My Christmas List!

I'll get to the list...but first I wanted to give a little update. Roomie and I are fine now, Player said he wasn't ready for another relationship right now so I guess that is good. She is happy to know exactly how he feels, so that is all well and dandy. On the other hand, I STILL haven't heard from Dru. This is the longest we have gone without talking since August...so I was worried and checked his local newspaper to make sure the worst hadn't happened. I saw no mention of his name, so I assume he is alive. I'll keep you posted.

In true holiday spirit, I made a Christmas list and sent it to my family, complete with links to the specific websites, colors, prices and sizes. Now I enjoy giving a gift that someone will love, but I understand the hassle of not knowing what to get people, so I make a very available, detailed list for my family members each year. I thought I would share some of the things on my list with all of you!

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

1. Longchamp 'Le Pliage' Tote Bag
2. BCBG Max Azria Ruffled Faux Two Piece Dress
3. Eliza J Ruffle Wrap Dress
4. Nicole Miller Printed Shift Dress
5. Linea Paolo 'Mira' Mary Jane
6. Via Spiga 'Ramble' Oxford
7. Patagonia Classic Retro-X Jacket

In addition to the pictured items, I asked for:

• monogrammed stationary
• Tervis Tumblers with pink monogram
• Pop 5 Cranium (a SICK board game - you have to try it out!)
• The Dark Knight (!eee!)
• Purity face wash by Philosophy
• and various other clothes/shoes/accessories!

What do you want for Christmas?

Girls...

I don't have many girlfriends because basically, I don't like girls. The gossiping and backstabbing that you are supposed to leave behind in junior high never gets left behind with most girls. The fake-ness really bothers me too...so generally, I steer clear of getting too buddy-buddy with most girls. Except my roomie, and best friend. We are VERY similar in many ways so it actually works out perfectly. There are things here and there that bother me about her but, overall she is a great person and the best friend. I am very lucky to have such a loyal and trustworthy friend in my life.

But lately there are some things bothering me that I just can't seem to forget. Here is the thing: I pay the bills...all of them. Then she repays me. For the past couple of months she has been up to 3 weeks late paying me for them. And come on people, I'm a college girl with a shopping problem...paying me late doesn't really bode well for my financials. I know that she doesn't really have that much money, and her parents don't help her out as much as mine do, so I try to be slack with her. But when it starts to affect me, I need to take action. SO from here on out, I'm going to put up the payments well in advance and give her a specific date by which she needs to get the money to me.

Also, she has been talking with this guy, we are going to call him Player (not because he is one...but that is actually a part of his name). He lives in our apartment complex and we met him through mutual friends about 2 months ago. Player is nice (for the most part) and dresses well and all but I still don't like him. Something about him just ticks me off, he seems rude sometimes and says things that just don't need to be said. The main thing that I hate about this is, I can't say anything to her about him because I think she really likes him. Or likes the attention...I'm not sure yet.

Most of all, it irritates me that she blew me off to hang out with him this past weekend. She has never done anything like that and it actually really bothered me. I pulled a pretty shitty friend move when I went to see Dru over Halloween and blew off our plans to go see New Kids on the Block, but I see that as a totally different situation. Dru and I were actually something. Not just starting out. And lots of other little details I won't get into. (Don't get me wrong - I know I shouldn't have blown her off) But it is just different. I asked and asked and checked and checked with her before I went to visit Dru, but this weekend when she blew me off...she didn't ask or see if it bothered me or anything.

So I'm going to let it go as payback for my earlier fault. But if things keep up like this with her dissing me for this loser dude, then I'm going to have to speak up.

It's A Sad Day...

I'm throwing in the towel with Dru.  Basically, we only talked on the phone last week once (Tuesday), then just a few quick texts on Thursday. He has mentioned maybe being able to come visit this weekend, but hasn't booked a flight or anything. It seems we have talked less and less since I last visited. I waited around last night for a phone call and never got one. So I figured I would man-up and call him tonight. As I left the gym around 6:45PM I called, got no answer and decided not to leave a message.

I haven't heard from him and quite frankly, I don't expect to. I don't understand. When I visit him, he asks me to marry him (jokingly, but with a weird serious undertone), tells me he is in love with me and we just have a great time. I was nervous for a little while that he thought I didn't feel as strongly as he did, but recently I have tried to make my feelings a little more apparent (I sent one text saying I missed him, I called him once last week, and now once this week).

When we spoke last week we discussed spending New Years together and he told me I could pick wherever I wanted to go. Then he doesn't call for a week and hasn't returned my phone call!? I don't get it. I understand he is super-busy. He works probably 10 hours a day, has great friends that he spends a lot of time with and he is very involved in his family. But I still don't get why he doesn't call but says all of these other things to me and pays for me to fly down there?

One part of the situation is the fact that he has only been in one relationship in his 25 years of existence that only lasted a year. So, roomie and I have thrown around the idea that he just doesn't know how to act, especially in our situation (being so far away). Now, I am kind of fed up. I hate waiting around for him and it is driving me crazy. I know everyone is screaming TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT! But it isn't that easy. When we are on the phone everything seems better than fine, so bringing up such a daunting topic is extremely hard.

I don't want to give him an ultimatum, but if things don't pick up I'm going to have to drop it/him to keep from getting hurt more. It is just a matter of me conveying that to him when/if he calls. I really don't want to give up on him because he is, honestly, the best guy I have ever even sort of dated.

Christmas Break!

I'm finally on Christmas break! I only had two exams, so the past couple of weeks actually haven't been that stressful, but I have been sick as well and that didn't help. But I'm back and ready to read/write blogs! Exams went well, I guess...grades haven't come back yet, but I expect to do just as well as I have in the past - Dean's List every semester since freshman year, thank you.

In other news, Dru and I haven't talked much over the past week, but I expect to talk to him to tonight. Ever since he bailed on me about a month ago, he has been saying this coming weekend will be the first weekend he would be able to visit. So, I'm waiting to hear if he wants to come - but I doubt he actually will. I have a Christmas party to go to on Friday and would love to take him to meet some of my friends, but we'll just have to see.

OH! I went shopping a couple of weekends ago and saved SO MUCH MONEY! My dad works for one of the best department stores in the area, so normally I get 20% off anything. Well they have special employee discount days where employees get 40% off! On top of all of the holiday discounts, I was able to get tons of stuff for a tiny part of the original price. Here is a run-down:

This Michael Kohrs Astor Tote originally $348.00, I got it for $110.00!

BCBG Max Azria Flat Boot originally $550.00, I got it for $206.00!!

This French Connection Smock Skirt was originally $168...I got it for $12.95!

*And I can wear it as a shirt too...multitasker!

I also got my sister a BCBG Max Azria top for Christmas that was originally $152 for only $32!

So, basically, I rocked. I realize that most of the stuff was for me, but at prices like that how could I resist!? It will take me a while of strict discipline to pay off the credit card, but I know I can do it.

How is your Christmas shopping going? Have you found any incredible deals?

Exam Week

I've been MIA for the past few days for a couple of reasons: 1. I've been sick 2. It is exam week. I have tons of posts to catch up on my reader and I've been so slack about posting on my own blog. My life has been so boring recently that even if it were a normal week, I doubt I would have anything of importance to write about anyways.

One small thing - Dru got into a car wreck this weekend. Apparently some guy crossed a few lanes of traffic and 't-boned' him. His truck is all messed up so he is having to drive his old Tahoe. No one in the car got hurt, which is good. Except, he is complaining a little about his elbow. There is still no set date for him to visit, which has me pulling out hairs. But we did talk about spending New Years together, which calmed me a little.

Anyways, I better get back to studying/working. Have a great weekend everyone, I'll be back in full-force next week!

More Food!

I am writing this post on Thursday, and therefore do not yet have solid plans for Saturday...but I'm hoping to have friends over to watch the Alabama game and the Oklahoma game. If I can work this out, I will most likely make at least 3 dishes for people to snack on:

Taco Dip

Ingredients:
1 16 oz. can refried beans
1 package taco seasoning (on the Mexican foods isle)
1 16 oz.(? - not the really small one and not the big one, but the medium size container) sour cream
1 8oz. can chopped black olives
1 bunch green onions, chopped
2 large tomatoes, seeds removed, chopped
1 heart of romaine, shredded
1 package shredded Mexican blend cheese
Bag of Doritos Scoops (or whatever chip you like)

Method:
Combine beans and 1/2 package taco seasoning. Spread mixture in even layer on large platter. Put platter in freezer while you prepare other ingredients. Once beans have had time to chill, and you have chopped all other veggies, smear sour cream over bean layer. On top of sour cream layer olives, green onions, tomatoes, 1/2 cheese, lettuce and remaining cheese on top. Use scoops to ENJOY!

Baked Hot Wings (because baked is SO much healthier than fried!)

Ingredients:
2 lbs. chicken wings
Big container of Texas Pete (32 oz?) - or your favorite hot sauce
2 garlic cloves, cracked
1 lb. butter, melted
S&P

Method:
Wash & dry wings. Place into gallon-sized zip-top bag (place bag in casserole dish in case it leaks). Pour in hot sauce, butter, S&P, and garlic. Marinate overnight. Line baking sheet with foil & spray with cooking spray. Cook in 350 degree oven for 1 hour, turning 1/2 way through. ENJOY!

Cheese Dip - this one is SO easy & I think it can even be found on the back of the Rotel can...

Ingredients:
1 16oz. can Rotel (on the canned tomato isle)
1 block of Mexican Velveeta cheese (if your store doesn't have Mexican, regular will do)
1 bag Doritos Scoops

Method:
Cut about 2 inches of the Mexican cheese block into cubes. Pour out some (but not all) of the Rotel liquid. Combine in bowl. Microwave for about 3 minutes, stirring occasionally, until cheese is completely melted. ENJOY with Doritos Scoops!

I have also heard of people adding sausage to this recipe...but I haven't tried it (let me know if you do)!

If these recipes aren't used Saturday maybe I'll make them for Monday Night Football!

GO SOONERS & ROLL TIDE!

Foodie Friday

I think "Strange Fridays/Freaky Friday" wasn't working out too well. There are some funny news headlines out there, but they didn't seem to generate enough of a response. So, I'm changing Fridays to 'Foodie Fridays' because I love to cook much more than I like to read about weird news. I think since I'm really into coking I will be more motivated to try out a new recipe each week and report back to y'all. This week I made 'Bow-tie Pasta with Asparagus and Pancetta'.

This recipe was based on 'Gnocchi with Asparagus and Pancetta' in CookingLight magazine. I have made some changes, that is the best part about cooking, you can customize it by adding more ingredients or taking some out. The first time I tried this recipe was with a friend who came over and brought it along. She didn't have gnocchi, so we used bow-tie pasta and I loved it. Since I've never actually had gnocchi, I decided to use bow-tie pasta again. I was craving exactly what we cooked before and I didn't want to risk eating something I might not like. I didn't think to take a picture, but just imagine the crisp green asparagus on a bed of white bow-tie pasta sprinkled with the browish-red pancetta and milky parmesan shavings.

Bow-Tie Pasta with Asparagus & Pancetta

Ingredients:
6 oz. thinly shaved pancetta, chopped
1 bunch asparagus, ends trimmed, cut into 1 inch pieces
1 small-medium (depending on how much you like) red onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 lb. bow-tie pasta
1 tbl. lemon juice
1 c fresh parmesan cheese
S&P
1/4 c cooking liquid

Method:
Boil pasta to al dente. While pasta cooks, crisp pancetta in large skillet over medium to medium-high heat. When pancetta is browned, remove and reserve on paper towel. Add extra virgin olive oil if pan is too dry, add onions. Cook for about 4-5 minutes then add asparagus. Cook 3 more minutes, add garlic for one last minute.

Drain pasta (save some of the liquid) and combine with other cooked ingredients in large bowl. Add lemon juice and cooking liquid, S&P. Toss to combine. Plate individually. Sprinkle pancetta and parmesan shavings over top.

ENJOY!

I WON I WON!

Remember not too long ago when I posted this about the jewelry giveaway? Well guess what!?!? I was winner #7!!!!!!!! I am SOO excited. I honestly have never won ANYTHING in my life (except things I worked for like sporting competitions). They are mailing it to me, so I'll try to remember to take a picture and post it!

Catching Up

I've been somewhat MIA the past few days. This is due to the fact that it is 'dead week' at my school. The term 'dead week' makes it sound like it is a relaxing time to start studying for exams, right? WRONG. 'Dead week' is usually a normal week in your freshman and sophomore years, but when you get into your junior and senior years it is another story.

I have been swamped with group projects and presentations. The amount of work during 'dead week' is enough to make you go insane. Just the other day I saw an article in the school paper about how 'dead week' is being abused by professors. It was obviously designed to be a relaxing week for students to start organizing for exams and not have new material introduced. Well because the University doesn't really enforce it, teachers go on with things as if it is just another week.

Well let me tell all of you professors something: IT IS THE WORST WEEK OF THE YEAR. In an effort to "lighten your exam load" teachers have finals during this week, projects due and all kinds of stressful assignments. I'm done with my week...and it was stressful. But I'm glad someone spoke out about it in the paper so maybe my final 'dead week' ever (in the spring) will be somewhat lighter.

In other news, things with Dru are going good. I think I just freaked out there for a while and was hurt by him not coming to visit. He has been pretty sweet since then, we talk on the phone often, and he even called to make sure I was up in time for my presentations yesterday. I finally got around to asking him when he was going to come visit. He said maybe he will come the weekend of the 19th. He hasn't bought a plane ticket or anything yet, so I'm not getting my hopes up...but I really do want him to come. A friend of mine is having a Christmas party that weekend which would be a good one for him to come and meet everyone. We still haven't talked about "what we are" but I promise to everyone (me, roomie, and y'all) that I'm going to talk it out next time we are together (in person). I don't want to have that talk over the phone because I won't be able to gauge his expressions and responses as well. I feel like the conversation will be much more truthful if it is done in person.

Roomie's birthday is Monday, so that means we will be celebrating all weekend. I have no idea what to get her...but I'll go shopping tomorrow and surly find something! Other things going on this weekend that I am so excited for I could just pee my pants:

• Alabama/Florida game (Dru & fam are going...ROLL TIDE!)
• Oklahoma/Missouri (Dad is an OU alum...GO SOONERS!)
• Panthers are playing MNF! We rented the theater at my apartment complex for the game!
• Some of our friends just move in down the hall...endless nights of laughs!

What are your plans this weekend?

Warning: This may gross you out...

I had a really disturbing, very realistic dream last night. Most of it was alright, but there was one part that still is messing with my head today. The dream started out with me being a student at UNC (which I'm not) and I was living in a super nice hotel room. Weird...I know. I was having trouble finding something to wear when some girls from my high school came by and helped me pick something out. This was also weird because these girls have no fashion sense. Anyways, as I am walking around my room, I notice this bump on my right arm. This is where it gets gross. The bump had a little hole in the top, and as I looked at it I noticed a little worm-like thing go into the hole! In the dream I knew it was a worm, but it looked more like a green and white piece of string or thin rope. 

I knew that it probably wasn't good that I just had a worm go into my body, so I squeezed the bump like you would a zit and the rope-worm-thing poked out of the top. Except now it was red and white. I grabbed it and ripped it out. It had grown to about 6 inches long and had gotten thicker. But it didn't come out like you would think, I ripped it out down my arm in a line rather than just all through the bump. It hurt like hell. I looked at my arm because I expected a long gash to be there from where it came out, but there was nothing. It had magically just morphed through my skin or something. Creepy. But it burned soooo bad. I told my friends about it and they said I shouldn't have ripped it out. Apparently when I did that it made a ton more little worms in my skin. I was supposed to wait until it turned back green then have it removed.

I woke up and my arm was actually hurting. I was so grossed out by the dream that I almost got sick to my stomach. I keep looking down at my arm today thinking I'm going to see something. And I can still feel where the bump and worm was on my arm. My dreams are always so realistic, and usually I can gather some meaning from them - or relate them to my life in some form or fashion...but this one totally stumps me. What's your weirdest dream?