To be or not to be...

Warning: This post is about religion. I may/may not offend you. Please don't hate me if I have said things you disagree with. I'm just working my way through the situation and chose to post about it. I in no way judge other people's religious beliefs, so please do not judge mine.

My roommate (and best friend) has always been very religious. Since college, she doesn't go to church 3 nights a week but is still very God-fearing. I, on the other hand, went to church occasionally as a child. I never read the Bible or studied the religion. I only know the main stories that the general public knows and I don't actively attend or practice any sort of religion. I pray occasionally but I feel like I shouldn't since I don't do any other religious activities.

This past Sunday I attended my first service in over 3 years with my roommate at her church here in town. I liked it because there was a band and the service wasn't the boring monotonous droning that I remember from childhood. It was upbeat, lively and geared toward a younger generation.

I want to go back because the sermon and message was therapeutic, but I feel guilty going because I'm not sold on the whole story. I consider myself a Christian and believe in God, but I don't believe everything. So maybe I shouldn't consider myself a Christian? I don't believe that women came from a rib in Adam's chest. And I have trouble believing that one of my best friends from high school who commit suicide almost 3 years ago is in hell for doing so.

There is so much I don't understand about religion, Christianity to be specific, but I haven't given up on it yet. I will continue to go to church with rommie and hope that it helps me become a better person. Whether or not I will ever fully believe is still up in the air.

Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Don't tear me a new one though...