Change is in the air

School, work and the requisite first week or so of partying each semester has kept me away from the wonderful blog world once again. But I'm here now and ready to fill you in on my life. I'm doing better with the Dru situation. I'm not nearly as depressed and am able to sleep better at night these days. I still miss him and wonder everyday why he stopped contacting me. But I am taking some steps to make some major changes in my life. I wouldn't exactly say that they are resolutions, but it just happened to come at the same time.

One of the biggest things I need to overcome is the want for a man in my life. Ever since I was 15 I have had a boyfriend, or some other type of guy friend who I would use to make me feel needed and loved. Gary (the ex I dated for 5 years) occasionally calls me at 2 AM after a night at the bar, and I hate to admit it, but sometimes I would go over there to spend the night. I entertained the thought that he still loved me and this is what kept me coming back. I have vowed not to do that anymore. I will not be the girl he uses for late night and who uses him for a false sense of hope. Gary is out of my life for good now, and I refuse to let him in or hope to let him in as anything more than a friend.

With the exception of Gary, all of my other relationships began with the drunk hook-up that turned into...'oh I might actually like this person'. Well, not anymore. I want to be in a relationship that starts with a date, not a late night. I think this will go a long way in helping me find the right person.

My biggest and probably most important underlying problem is self-confidence. Although I was voted most attractive and best dressed junior and senior year in high school, I still feel like I could always look better. Not only does my self-confidence suffer in appearance, but also in the personality department. I can define all of my friends with one word that describes their passion. I have mentioned this before, but I can't do that for myself. Not having a true passion and vision for my future really affects my lack of self-confidence. I would love to work on this aspect of myself by trying new things and finding something that I am good at and can call my passion.

My final fault that I will be working on is my lack of motivation or determination. This affects my life in many different ways (i.e. exercise, nutrition, activities with friends, work). I have become so averse to change that it affects this determination. My fear of the unknown grows everyday and I realize this is something I need to get under control before it seriously affects me.

I'm taking a personal wellness class (I have mentioned before) and with the tools I learn there and the right mindset, I hopefully will be able to work on all of these faults. Being able to write them down and organize my thoughts is really helpful and will also help me to stick to my commitment. I believe that you can't change until you want to change, and I definitely do. I am hopeful and optimistic about the ways my life will improve as I conquer these hurdles.

PS Tonight is the season premiere of American Idol! Ahhh! And Scrubs is on! Wooo!

Giving Blood

I went yesterday to be a good citizen and give blood. Let me just say I have a VERY high tolerance for pain and I'm not grossed out at all by blood. In previous surgeries I have even requested to stay awake and watch the procedure. So all was well while I was giving blood yesterday.

Until I got to the snack station.

I knew I should probably eat and drink so I had some pretzels and diet Pepsi (gross). As I sit there watching a rerun of Desperate Housewives, I start to get hot and weak. I wanted to raise my hand to call someone over, but I couldn't move. At some point I guess I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew, I was laying on the ground with 5 Red Cross ladies hovering over me. They were asking me my name, which thankfully I knew, and telling me to cough really hard. Somehow I had been put into a wheelchair and they took me back to a bed to lie down.

After some regular Pepsi (still gross - I'm a coke girl) I started to feel better. The ice pack on my neck helped too. After about 10 mins. I was able to get up and drive home. I wasn't feeling completely better by that time, but it was closing time and I knew they all wanted to get home. So the whole way home I continued to make myself cough (it apparently gets the blood flowing in your head) to avoid passing out again. I made it home safely but felt like crap the rest of the day. I still feel tired today, but I'm hoping that is because it is an ugly day and not because of my debacle yesterday.

The Red Cross ladies kept telling me that this happens a lot to first-timers and that it probably won't happen again. I really want to give blood often, but I don't want this to happen every time. I guess we'll just have to see next time I go!

What are you experiences?

Things to do before I'm 30

I watched a Scrubs* episode yesterday where J.D. turns 30. He and Turk had made lists of things they wanted to do before they both turned the big three-oh. Turk had accomplished many of his such as: get married, have kids, etc. J.D. hadn't completed a single thing from his list. Still single, in the process of finding a new home, etc. J.D. decides the only thing on his list he can accomplish before his 30th birthday (which happened to be the next day) was to complete a triathlon. To make a long, funny, story short, he winds up completing the race - thanks greatly to Elliott.

I started to make a bucket-list a few months ago, but that seemed too daunting and unrealistic. I would rather make a bucket-list closer to the time I think I will die (as morbid as that sounds). So I liked the idea of making a list of goals before I reach 30 (which will be in 9.5 years). Here it goes:

1. Get married
2. Have at least 2 children (yeah I know that seems really soon - I want to be a young mom though!)
3. Run a half-marathon
4. Skydive
5. Go camping (I've never been!)
6. Better understand religion/adopt a denomination
7. Go to Greece
8. Become dedicated to and participate regularly in a good cause...Susan G. Komen?
9. Obtain my MBA
10. Dine in the dark

What are some of your goals for the next 10 or so years?


*Scrubs is THE BEST SHOW EVER. I recently got into watching it a few months ago. They play reruns on Comedy Central and TV Land. It is incredibly funny. Their last season finished shooting at the beginning of the summer I think, but won't air until "mid-season" (whenever that is) this year. The show used to be on NBC but will now be airing new episodes on ABC - the best network ever. If anyone knows exactly when new ones will air let me know - I'll try to keep you posted as well.

Dreams

I had a couple of different dreams last night. Both incredibly weird and extremely vivid.

Dream #1:

Setting: My aunt's house in Arkansas, but mysteriously in Los Angeles as well.

Somehow Lindsay Lohan and I become fast friends and I become sort of an assistant to her? We are on the back lawn of my aunt's house and she pulls out a blunt. Except for it wasn't a normal blunt, it was as thick as a cigar but shorter. On the end I see these small neon green balls. She informs me it is acid. (Let me just tell you here, I am NOT into drugs. I've never done hard drugs, and don't want to - therefore I am not well informed about them. But I am pretty sure acid doesn't come in the form of green balls. And I'm pretty sure no one has ever put it on the end of a giant blunt...or have they?) Anyways, she starts to smoke it. We are close to some sort of lake, and my friend from high school is a few yards away, watching us, waiting for something exciting to happen. I have no idea why he was there. So we continue to sit there and chat while she smokes. I am close to falling in the water and ask her to help me scoot away from it, but it takes her a while and more of me begging for her to actually help me. Weird. Then we are just chatting more when she offers me a hit. Reluctantly, I take one.

Suddenly we are inside of my aunt's house. Surrounding us is my aunt, my uncle, two cousins and my very conservative thinks-I've-never-had-a-sip-of-alcohol grandma. And of course, me and Lindsay. The friend from school may or may not have been there, I can't remember that part, but I wouldn't be surprised considering how weird the dream is. It is the next morning and apparently we had stayed up throughout the night talking in the yard. Never sleeping. The pot/acid mixture had made me completely unable to stand on my own two feet. I was falling over every which way trying to have a conversation with my family. Lindsay, the veteran, is unaffected by the drugs. As she helps me, and laughs at me, I am finally able to shower, get dressed and ready for the day.

Next scene: I am driving my mom's Tahoe, taking Lindsay to do some photo shoot. She is poking around on the side of her door trying to get the window to roll down. Apparently in the incredibly expensive cars that she is used to riding in, the windows roll down with the mere thought crossing her mind. I ask her what we were going to do tonight and she doesn't seem to want to do anything. I start rattling off all of the clubs in Los Angeles that I want to go to, but she seems bored with them all. I'm incredibly disappointed that I won't be going out with her and having my face in all of the tabloids. "Who is LiLo's new bestie?!" (Yeah I'm way too into celeb gossip) After the photo shoot, I drop her to film scenes for a movie.

The End. (Incredibly weird, right?)

Dream #2:

Setting: My room in my apartment, on a home football game day.

Many people are in my room...from what I can remember it is me, roomie, Dru, some of his friends, and some of my friends. It is early in the morning and everyone is excited to start tailgating. Dru has asked me to marry him. (Little truth here: the past two times I have seen Dru - we were both drunk - he has asked me to marry him. Last time in particular, he said 'If I get you a ring right now would you marry me?' Weird considering we don't really know each other that well) So in the dream when he asks, I assume he is joking like always, except he is not drunk this time. I am a little confused and don't know how to answer. I think I just shrugged it off and gave him a kiss or something. Next thing I know I accidentally see a text message he got from a friend. It said, "Did she say yes or no?" Which, I knew was referring to the marriage question. He was serious!?!?!

Something happens and all of a sudden it is night time. Almost game time. Very little time for tailgating left. I am still getting ready and can't seem to ever finish. Everyone else is outside having a great time. Roomie is helping me get ready but time is standing still. I can see everyone from the window but can't get out there.

The End.

I have incredibly strange dreams all of the time, but these were just wayyy out of the ordinary. I wish I knew what they meant. My mom has a dream book that I have used before, but it really just says the same thing for every dream.

Quarter-Life Crisis

I'm 21 and I have no idea who I am. This blog may sound whiny...but I have to write it, for my sanity.

When I dated Gary (for 5 years) I got used to my life, the every-day events, and basically thought I knew who I was. Or maybe I did know who I was then, but now I have changed? I'm not really sure. My whole life was centered around Gary. I think maybe I was no one because I let myself be absorbed by him (through no fault of his own). But now I'm at a point where I want, need, to be me. My only problem is, I don't know who I am or want to be.

I take that back. There are a ton of things I want to be, but don't see happening in reality. I want to be a person who doesn't judge others, who has time to volunteer, who can truly be happy for others even if it inconveniences me. I want to be a better person, and have been trying, admittedly half-assed, since Gary and I broke up.

Gah, this is so hard to put into words and make sense of it all.

Currently, I see myself as average. Maybe even a little less than average. I have no passions. Sure there are material things I love (fashion), but I have no true passion. No great love. In my spare time I read and watch TV, hang out with friends or whatever. For instance, I can associate one word to most of my friends that describes them (and their passion). For my friend Mimi - God. Sister - health. Gary - music. I could go on all day, but the point is, when I think of one thing that describes me I can't come up with a single thing.

I am stuck in my last year of college studying something I am neither interested or uninterested in, but don't have the resources to go back and re-do college. I am at a boring job, that at first taught me a lot, but now has formed a plateau and become repetitive.

I am frustrated with the fact that I thought I needed to get away from Gary to grow as a person, on my own. But it isn't happening. When am I going to have the drive and determination to become someone? To find a passion?

What brings this all on, you may ask? Well...my mom spoke to her friend last night who knows Dru and his family very well. As it turns out, Dru's family is amazing. They have endless amounts of money, all which they are willing to give away. They donate to many charities, take friends on lavish trips, and here is the clincher, allowed Natalee Holloway's family to use their personal jet numerous times to go to Aruba to search for her. According to my mom's friend, they are the most generous people. She said they are super nice and not one of the snobby-rich families. Dru's mom battled breast cancer and survived, does volunteer work, and is basically a great person.

So basically, I'm going down to visit Dru this weekend. I don't think I will be meeting his parents, but I will be with him and his brother all weekend. Here I am, currently feeling like I have nothing to offer, going to spend time with the Mother Teresa's of the south. I'm nervous I won't be able to live up to them, to impress them, or to be even close to being on par with them. I may be thinking too much about this, over analyzing it, but it is important to me so I can't stop obsessing.

I am shy around new people, and sometimes come off bitchy, so of course I'm worried about that. I really just want to be able to be myself around Dru, but I don't know who I am. I have become accustomed to being different people in different situations, so I have no idea who my true self is. I am always worried that my actions/reactions will not please others or I will not be viewed positively through others' eyes.

I welcome any advice with open arms, but I have to tell you truthfully...I don't know what will help? This seems like a problem for a licensed therapist, right? Hah.

So here is the end of my rant, and I actually feel good. I kind of feel like I have organized it into the most understandable, logic way possible. I'm sorry if this post isn't as upbeat as most of my others, but a cold rain came into town today and I'm thinking that has something to do with it.

Firsts

I read a blog where the author listed 'firsts'. Seeing as this would be a great way to jog my memory and really look back into who I was/am, I am dedicating this post to my firsts. Recalling things, especially on the spot, is tough for me so I'm betting this will take me quite some time. I want it to be as creative as possible, but we'll have to see.

I first walked at 7 months old.
My first real kiss was in the back of a movie theater (I can't remember what movie it was).
My first break-up was the cause of my first real teenage girl fight (not physical, people).
My first trip out of the country was to the Bahamas.
The first time I moved was when I was 6 months old.
My first true love was a relationship that lasted 5 years (Gary).
My first car was a Toyota 4-Runner.
My first pet was an evil cat named Lucy until we discovered it was a boy and then started calling him Lucas.
This was my first cell phone (with a pink flamingo cover):

The first time I went to a strip club was this past weekend.
The first time I got my heart broken was at the age of 16 (Gary...but I returned the favor).
The first time I had sushi was at the Marriott in Times Square my junior year in high school.
I met my first best friend in kindergarten (I came home the first day and apparently told my mom I had found someone small like me).
The first time I had an oyster was less than a year ago (and I didn't like it).
I still sleep with my first blanket (don't worry - it has been washed).
My first job was as a runner for a law firm (Pat's dad's law firm actually).
My first experience with death was that of a close friend in high school.
My first credit card had the emblem of my favorite college basketball team on it.
Annnddd I'm out.

Oh, and PS - my city has decided to launch another 'against drunk driving' campaign. Every year they do this, my question is - when did you stop looking out for drunk drivers? But the PoPo got clever this year...they launched it on 8.8.08 because the legal limit is 0.08. Clever. They must have been really slow this year...

Slackers.

I thought being away from my desk at work for two days (thus away from the blogging world) would put me so far behind that it would take the better part of the week to catch up. Well I was wrong. Apparently everyone is slacking, not just me. I guess everyone is jamming their vacations in before all of the schools start back? Who knows.

I am a slacker too though. I didn't run yesterday. But it wasn't completely my fault. My alarm didn't go off. I hate when this happens. I hate the few minutes where you can't tell if you are reading the clock right, and if it is actually a work day so do you have to get up, and 'am I dreaming this?' all kicks your brain at once.

I feel like I have also been slacking off on this blog. My posts don't seem to be that interesting. It is like I think of great things to write about all of the time, except when I am in front of the computer. I need to start writing them down right when I think of them instead of telling myself that my memory is going to start magically working again.

Random Alert:: I had a dream last night that was really weird. I dreamt I was in LA showing my friend around. We were having to climb over all of this construction on Hollywood Blvd and I fell into some plywood. It was really strange.

I am always intrigued by where I am and what I am doing when I remember a dream from the previous night. This morning I was leaning over on my bed stretching out my hammies when I remembered this dream. Maybe it was the falling sensation? Who knows. I wish I could remember more of the dream though. I am usually a pretty vivid dreamer. I always have a dream to report, but for the past couple of weeks I haven't been having as many.

Maybe all of the creative juices have somehow left my body. Maybe if you are living on the edge you aren't allowed to be creative? I am going to blame this on my slacker-ness on blog writing, dreaming and the occasional skipped workout.

In what aspects of life are you a slacker?

Carrots Are Good For Your Eyes

Well thanks, Mom. I ate plenty of carrots and I still have to wear contacts. What I really want to know is if there is a food for memory. As Ed so kindly pointed out when I went to visit him, I officially have the worst memory known to man. Each day he would recall something I said/we talked about/we did and I would not be able to remember it to save my life. Now, granted I was drunk every single night I was there, may have something to do with it. But I have noticed it more often since Ed mentioned it. In an effort to reverse this old woman syndrome, I have taken to jotting down reminders in the "Notes" part of my iPhone.

As I scroll through to see if I had added anything recently that I wanted to "re-remember", I came across this note reading: "Steve Irwin at Brad Paisley". (Went to Paisley's concert this weekend) Now I'm pretty sure I wasn't smoking anything funny or poppin pills, but if I thought I saw Steve Irwin resurrected and I can't even remember it? Well then that's just flat out embarrassing.

I have kept the note in my phone hoping that for whatever reason I wrote it will come back to me one day.

Other things written in my phone:
Song list (to download)
Bits and pieces from my trip to LA to joke with Ed about
Passcodes (probably should put somewhere safer tonight)
Books to read
Websites to visit

Any suggestions for memory food?

Oh shit. I almost forgot, I wanted to talk about how there are tons of things I think of during the day/night that I want to blog about but can never remember them when I sit down to write. WTF?

TDK & Mission Update

I'll start with The Dark Knight:

THE BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!

I can not put into words how much I love this movie. I saw it at a normal movie theater but I totally want to try to make one of the IMAX showings this week. But the time that I would like to go is sold out all week!

On to the mission update:

I am not good at motivating myself. I didn't get up and run this morning before work for two reasons:

1. It is supposed to be one of the hottest days of the summer today
2. A friend stayed over last night and since I felt like I had to entertain this person, I didn't get to sleep as early as I had hoped

Also, I might actually go back to LA. I mean plane tickets are $250! How can I pass that up? I just need to run it past my boss today...

But I did get up, shower, eat breakfast and pack a lunch. So I am proud of that. And I am going to watch my spending for the next few weeks - like strict.

On A Mission

I am going to be shallow really quick...when I think I look better than most people in the room, it makes me feel good.

There.

I said it.

I know you feel this way too.

So, I am on a mission and let me tell you why:

Remember the story I posted yesterday about Ex's? Well I found out for sure that Gary (the ex) is more than just friendly with the girl. Ouch.

I went through a semi-depressed/pissed phase last night where I proclaimed to Jan (my bff and roommate) that I hated life here and was determined to "get the hell out of this M.F.ing place!"

What is really fueling this mission? I hate the fact that Gary and girl being together bothers me. I thought I was over him!? Whatttt.

To focus my efforts elsewhere, and ultimately avoid my feelings until they are gone, I am proclaiming this mission (starting Monday):

• I will wake up every morning before work to run, shower and eat breakfast.
• I will pack a lunch everyday to save money.
• I will use old bank statements to work out a real budget.
• I will stick to said budget.
• I will go to the gym after work for arm/leg training.
• I will not call in sick (unless I really am) or go back to California in a couple of weeks (this one really hurts because my best guy friend is going out there and I totes wanna go).

I am stopping here in my mission statement because I want to be realistic. There are plenty other aspects of my life I could improve but once I get the hang of the above activities I can focus on other things.

I realize that I have said that I want to change my life before (here and kinda here), but I think the motivation I get from this Gary and girl situation is finally enough to make me determined.

Wish me luck! I will post updates for sure on Monday.

Ex's

Such a complicated topic. Obvi everyone has different feelings about their ex's...so here is the tale of mine. I refer to this person as my ex because he is the only person I have dated of significance. I mean long-term, high school sweetheart significance. I will call him Gary here.

Gary and I broke up a little over a year ago after a 5 year relationship. We didn't speak for like 8 months after. Long story short, he was living far far away and moved back and we were forced to speak when at a mutual friend's party.

Here is where I sound a bit slutty - since the party we have been getting together every once and a while to hook up. No strings attached. (I cringe just admitting that aloud) For one reason or another I kind of always thought things would change and we would maybe? get back together. However, I never really put that much consideration into it.

It is hard to explain, but more or less, I was fine with him being with other people as long as I didn't know. I thought we would just get our single-ness out of the way and that would be that. Well now I am beginning to doubt myself.

Recently Gary has been rumored to be hooking up with this girl. She is not some ordinary girl though. Here is her story: she used to date one of my classmates (Carl). They were high school sweethearts and still kind of at an on-and-off state.

Our high school was so small - I graduated in a class of 18 - that everyone was friends. Resulting in Gary and Carl also bring friends. Long story short, I am pretty sure Carl is pissed that Gary is hanging out with his girl (as am I). This creates a bonding yearn for me. I want to call up Carl and talk shit with him about Gary and girl. However, I know this is wrong and immature so I am holding off - for now. (Considering we don't know they are together for sure)


GAH I hate being pissed and not being able to do anything about it.

Here is my discussion topic: How do you feel about your ex in these types of situations? In general? Also, I am open to suggestions if anyone feels I should take action on this particular subject.

Bio

I was just asked to write a bio of myself for our new company website. WTF? Really people, there is nothing noteworthy to write about me. I am a college student. I get drunk with my friends. I haven't gone to any finance academies over the summer or played college sports. I don't have my masters yet (obvi) and honestly don't know if I ever will. I lead a boring life...what in the world am I supposed to write about!?! I can't say what I want to because it is totally not appropriate for the workplace. This blows.

This leads me to believe that I should probably be doing more exciting things with my life. Where do I start?

New Quest

Like the new look? I think it is a little more classy and grown-up. And it suits my new quest. I need to start acting my age. I know 21 isn't the oldest, but I have realized I'm not exactly the carefree kid I used to be. One inspiration being a personal finance blog: wellheeled. This blogger is 23 going on 24 and already has a great amount of money saved for retirement. I have none, zilch, zip, zero. I need to get on this saving thing immediately.

If not yesterday.

Of course I have had a finance class, but during that class I was the student who got the A's from having last semester's test and a bunch of friends to tell me how to study. I memorized but did not learn. I regret it. There is a reason your GPA doesn't matter when you leave college - because, as in my case, it is just a matter of picking the right teacher and knowing kids who have already taken the course.

Thankfully, I have learned this lesson with one year of college left (although I do wish I had learned it earlier). I vow here and now to actually learn and not memorize (a hard habit to break, I admit). So, in my quest to become a bigger and better person I am going to the bookstore today (read:as soon as I get some responses) to find books on personal finance. I need to start with the basics y'all - really basic. For example, I don't really know what a Roth IRA is, or a Freedom Fund. I think I have a 401K through my employer, but I don't really understand what it is or how it will help-EMBARASSING!!!

It is your job, readers (are there any out there?), to help me find a suitable book(s). Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Two requirements of suggested books:

1. FOR BEGINNERS - Dummies...but NOT those books called "Finance for Dummies" or any of that garbage
2. About personal finance

For the Record

I saw a post the other day by a girl who listed 100 things about herself. I enjoy reading her blog so it was nice to "get to know" who I was reading. I really admired her ability to list 100 interesting things because I, however, don't even have 100 interesting things about me. But in an attempt to let my vast array of readers* know who I am, I chose to do a "For the Record" section to which I hope will continue to grow. Soooo here we go...
*HA

For the record:

- I also drunk text, and sometimes get myself into trouble - but don't have quite as interesting stories as Becky...yet.

- Italian food is my favorite, followed by Mexican, then Japanese

- I have embarrassing road rage

- Chinese is my least favorite food

- Being at the beach makes me happy

- I want to read more interesting (smart-people) books, but right now I'm stuck on chick-lit

- My goal in the next year is to become more "outdoors-y" (I want to skydive, mountain bike, hike, maybe even rock climb woahhh don't want to get ahead of myself)

- I want to move out of my comfort zone to a new place and meet new people (When I finish college and have enough money to do so)

- Scary movies are my favorite

- I hate the feeling when you wake up in the morning and you have nothing to look forward to

- I was voted most attractive and best dressed my junior and senior years in high school (Woop Woop!)

- I LOVE to cook. Food Network is always on my TV

- Dogs are my favorite...cats can go to hell.

- When Food Network is broken, I will most definitely be watching reruns of the O.C. or One Tree Hill

- As cheesy as it may be, my all-time-favorite movie is Dirty Dancing

- Beach music is my favorite and I love to shag - even though I may not always be a great dancer

- I have taken over 6 years of Spanish, but I am still not fluent

- Although I enjoy the occasional girly drink, I much prefer beer

- Live music makes me happy

- I hate it when people interrupt me

- I try to always do things right because failing is embarrassing (but lately I have been told that I must make mistakes or else I will never learn - yuck.)

- Shopping is truly therapeutic for me, as shallow as it sounds

- I've always wanted to go to a therapist to see what she/he will say

- I'm running out of things to say. I'll continue later (hopefully) if I can think of some more things.

Title Explaination

To further explain myself, I would like to reveal the meaning of my shallow blog title. "Jacks, Yurman and Bobbi Brown" actually refers to three things I have on at (almost) all times. "Jacks" alludes to my all-time-favorite flip-flops. Jack Rogers. These shoes are perfect for almost all occasions. I wear them with jeans and a t-shirt to go get lunch. I wear them with my bathing suit to the beach. I wear them to engagement parties with dresses. I wear them out on the town with my girlfriends. They come in all colors and you can even have them MONOGRAMMED. Brilliant. (Whoever invented monogramming rocks, because I put my sacred three initials on anything and everything)

"Yurman" undoubtedly refers to David Yurman. My single favorite jewelery designer. And also items you most always will find adorning my body. Sorry Tiffany's - you come in second. Although Tiffany blue is probably my favorite color.

Finally, "Bobbi Brown" - a genius. Previously a Chanel make-up fan, I recently made the switch. All of my years growing up in high school Bobbi Brown was all the rave among the other girls. I stayed true to Chanel, however, because I have always idolized my grandmother and Chanel is her make-up of choice. Now I will document my life-changing (or maybe just appearance-changing) experience at the Bobbi Brown counter:

Me: Idly browsing the BB counter noncommittally.

BB rep: May I help you find anything?

Me: Yes, actually I have a hard time finding a foundation that is light enough for the summer, won't dry me out but at the same time won't make me oily. (Ha! Impossible! No fear Chanel counter - I will be there in a minute!)

BB rep: Well, we have these options to choose from -blah, blah and blah. What are you currently using?

Me: I have a great foundation/power combination from Chanel but during the summer it wears off easily and I wanted to try a few other options. (The betrayal begins - don't hurt me CoCo)

The BB rep then explains the benefits of all of the different products and coerces me into a example. After hesitantly accepting this "test run" on my face, I realize it really does look good...healthy. And then comes the clincher -

BB rep: Bobbi really focuses on making your skin look "doughy."

I was sold. Doughy!?!...doughy?...an interesting adjective for skin, right? At first mention I was turned-off by the word in reference to my face, but as I continued to look at her magnificent work I realized that this was the healthiest my face has ever looked.

So, after about $250 of Bobbi Brown merchandise, a new look and many compliments later, I decided this genius make-up designer/artist (whatever you want to call her) deserved the only two-name reference in my title. And a prime location all over my face. Everyday.

Blog Virgin

Hi. This is my first blog post...ever. I am so new to this I'm embarrassed. First off let me say this is not how I want my page to look...format, colors, etc. I love pink, green, yellow, turquoise and pastel colors but this isn't exactly how I pictured it. So if anyone happens to stumble upon this site and can give me advice/be willing to show a newbie around, that would be great.

I considered myself computer-savvy. Until today. There is so much I don't know. For example, how to make this freaking page look cute like I want it. What is this HTML garbage? Isn't there a paint-by-numbers type of program I can use? Call me stupid, but I can't for the life of me figure this mess out. So until I do, don't expect anything too fancy out of this page.

I guess I should say a little something about myself considering I am a blog virgin. I don't know what to tell you - the trivial stuff seems necessary but boring so I will start there...I moved around most of my life until middle school where my family finally settled down and decided to send me to private school (best decision EVER made by my parents). I am now in my final year of college and could not possibly be more subtly scared of graduating. I have a sister, both of my parents (thankfully), and two dogs. I do not live at home anymore (again, thankfully) but love my family none the less. Well that is the basic information to which you may all now use to put me in a certain stereotypical category of your choosing.

Here is some more information that may help place me:

Likes:

• Designer ANYTHING (I have a Kate Spade pencil case for crying out loud)
• The South. Not the redneck/NASCAR type, but the southern-belle, Lilly Pulitzer-wearing families.
• The beach. Again, not the bring-you-plastic-chair-get-burned-to-the-point-of-no-return type of beach experience, but the simplicity of taking your boat out to an island for a day of bocce-ball and cocktails.
• Cooking. There is something relaxing and equally as pleasing about preparing a meal for someone and having them truly enjoy it.
• Organization. I find with more organization comes less stress.

Well...I hope that helps. There is much more to me than I lead you to believe here, but I supposed this gives you reason to check back. I hope to use this blog not only to document my life, opinions, etc. but also to provide entertainment and escape. We'll see what happens.