No Foodie Friday Here

If you look forward to Foodie Friday, you will most likely have to wait until next week. I've got nothing. But I did wear my pretty new suit to a presentation yesterday...it went well, I guess. This week has been hell - lots to do. But next week is 'dead week' then exams, then it is all over. Yuh. College is O.V.E.R. What!? Where did the past 4 years go? And what the hell was I doing all of this time?

And what am I supposed to do May 11th (the first Monday as a real person)? I haven't been going on interviews or looking for jobs. Yeah, slacker, huh? Ever since my boss told me there was possibility of me growing here, I have kind of taken that for granted. I should be creating a marketing plan for him, but I haven't had time. I should be looking into continuing education or other jobs...but I don't have time, and the only jobs out there are sales. I would honestly be the WORST sales person.

So, I guess I kind of don't know what to do now, and the funny thing is? I'm not even stressed about it. Maybe I should be, oh well.

I didn't workout the past two days and it is killing me. I must workout today when I get home from work. It grosses me out just sitting at this desk feeling like I could be doing something productive with my body.

Well that is it for my random thought process. Have a great weekend everyone!

Brain Fry

School/work/my future is frying my brain right now so you'll have to excuse my lack of creative writing. I have one class this semester that will most definitely prove to be my most intense and hardest class during my college career. I am not caught up in that class and I have a test in 2 days. Not to mention I also have a test right before that and one the next day.

I worked on updating my resume this weekend and that was quite an ordeal. My mom is a great help and I'm actually kind of pleased with it so far. I sound super smart and qualified. The stress of having to find a 'real' job in May is freaking me out. Come on Obama...fix this place before May...PUHLEASEEE!

I keep having dreams about Dru and it is pissing me off. He is physically and emotionally out of my life but he keeps sneaking in at night...WTF?! Can't I just get rid of him already? It is so frustrating.

Oh and I'm trying to pay down my bills so I am currently not shopping. That always adds to my stress level. But enough of my stresses. I am happy to be alive and healthy so I can't ask for too much more I guess. I will try to post some more creative things sometime this week but it's going to be incredibly busy so don't get your hopes up...but I do have a great recipe coming up tomorrow since I missed last Friday.

Have a good week y'all!

Fear of Computer Failure

Whew. I have had a full week of catching up on my reader and loving every minute of it. It's like reading short books when you have a bunch of one person's posts to catch up on. But one thing I have noticed is that many of my blog-friends have lost their computers due to technical difficulties over the past few months. So I was starting to think, maybe I should save the most important things somewhere other than my computer. First thought: USB drive - too expensive for the amount of space I need.

The one thing that I would be devastated over loosing if my computer crashed is my picture collection. Since I got my computer a little over 3 years ago, all of the pictures from my college days have been stored on it, and I don't know what I would do without them. Sure many of them are on Facebook or have been printed, but the ones that aren't are great too!

Do y'all know of any way to upload all of my pictures somewhere online (where they would be private)? Or another simple way of storing them somewhere else in case of a 'technical difficulty'? (Keep in mind there are thousands of photos)

Hump Day

Happy hump day! We are out of school today for the Thanksgiving holiday, and since I usually only work Tuesdays and Thursdays, I won't be doing anything today! Actually, I have to pass a computer proficiency exam on December 6 where you have to know everything about the new versions of Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint and Access. I think I'm good to go with the first three, but I have never used or heard of people using Access. So I will be spending the day studying for that test and possibly helping my mom paint. Oh - I should probably go for a run too, since I will be participating in the Turkey Trot 5-K tomorrow and I have only run once in the past two weeks!

I also need to get many things organized for my other exams in the beginning of December, so this break will be great if I can motivate myself to get all of it out of the way. A few more goals of mine over break are to seriously look into jobs and schools, and update my resume. I also hope to get some books on taking the GMAT and GRE (both since I don't know what I want to study when I get done).

Whew, this break isn't going to be as relaxing as I hoped. What will you do over the holiday? Any travel plans?

Updates and Oddities

I don't know if oddities is a word, but I like it and will start a petition to have it added to the dictionary if y'all feel the same.

Updates: Things with Dru are going great. I got over my obsession with having a title, and never said anything. Which now I am thankful for. I had a pretty good weekend, went to a football game and out with friends.

Dru had a work function down in Destin, FL. His boss takes the whole company once a year and pays for everything. Dru said the first night he was out with one of the senior managers and about 20 other people. After 4 hours of drinking their tab was...$6500!! Woah. Dru thinks the guy who owns the company (and pays for it) probably spent close to 3 million dollars.

I can't even fathom that.

Also, I talked to him Sunday. I am going back down to visit next weekend. My school has fall break so I don't have to go to class Thursday or Friday. Thursday is my mom's birthday so we are going to drive down to Atlanta. She has to do a little bit of work, but we are going shopping and out to eat. Dru is coming to pick me up Friday night (and go out to eat with my mom and I) then we are driving back to Birmingham. He mentioned on the phone that we could go SKYDIVING on Saturday!

I almost fell out of my chair. The one thing I have ever wanted to do is skydive. Always. I can't remember ever telling him this, so I guess it was just a coincidence. I don't think this guy could be more perfect!

It turns out he bought the vouchers for his dad and him to go for his dad's birthday one year. His mom checked the life insurance policy and noticed that if his dad died skydiving they wouldn't be able to collect life insurance. So...his dad never wound up going and Dru has these two vouchers that he has been meaning to use!

I didn't get to talk to him last night, but as of Sunday he was going to check into it and make sure everything was still a go! I really hope we follow through with this and actually do it! I can't wait to see him either. I wish I wouldn't let myself get so absorbed, but hey what's the worst that could happen?

In other news, this was the weekend that Ed was in town. I didn't see him once. I never even talked to him before he came. I noticed on Facebook that he had told a mutual friend he was staying with Gary. And this is without having talked to me about it at all! Which is nice, because we didn't have to have the awkward conversation and I guess he just kind of got the hint.

He came to town, they went out, I never saw him and then I get a text from him late last night that was kind of offensive. This morning he texts and (jokingly) says 'Glad I got to see you'. So I asked him about the offensive text from last night and he claims he doesn't remember because he was drunk. I refreshed his memory, and asked him a question about it to which he replied, "Jesus Sarah, it was funny at the time. F*cking chill."

WOAH.

I don't allow people to speak to me like that. I think it is completely disrespectful and tacky for a boy to cuss at a girl. So, I didn't respond, and I'm not planning on it. I don't know what the problem was, but I'm going to rid myself of any communication with him. I just don't see why I need him in my life right now. Dru is great and I just want to focus on the good things. I'm almost 100% certain that Dru would never speak to me like that.

But it did kind of motivate me. I think I'm going to start working out again. Why this motivated me? I have no idea. But I'm kind of glad it happened.

OK now that my love-life update is out of the way I thought I would share this with you in light of the Freaky Friday trend I miserably failed at.

I read this blog Dlisted, which is ABSOLUTELY hilarious. It is celebrity gossip by a fabulously opinionated gay man. If you shy away from bad language and crude topics, you may not enjoy this particular blog. However, I love all things racy and straight-forward. Anyways, he did a post today, It's Not Even Halloween Yet!, that reminded me of the Freaky Friday stuff. I hope you all read this post, laugh, then go check out the rest of his blog. It will keep you entertained for hours - I swear.

Dreams

I had a couple of different dreams last night. Both incredibly weird and extremely vivid.

Dream #1:

Setting: My aunt's house in Arkansas, but mysteriously in Los Angeles as well.

Somehow Lindsay Lohan and I become fast friends and I become sort of an assistant to her? We are on the back lawn of my aunt's house and she pulls out a blunt. Except for it wasn't a normal blunt, it was as thick as a cigar but shorter. On the end I see these small neon green balls. She informs me it is acid. (Let me just tell you here, I am NOT into drugs. I've never done hard drugs, and don't want to - therefore I am not well informed about them. But I am pretty sure acid doesn't come in the form of green balls. And I'm pretty sure no one has ever put it on the end of a giant blunt...or have they?) Anyways, she starts to smoke it. We are close to some sort of lake, and my friend from high school is a few yards away, watching us, waiting for something exciting to happen. I have no idea why he was there. So we continue to sit there and chat while she smokes. I am close to falling in the water and ask her to help me scoot away from it, but it takes her a while and more of me begging for her to actually help me. Weird. Then we are just chatting more when she offers me a hit. Reluctantly, I take one.

Suddenly we are inside of my aunt's house. Surrounding us is my aunt, my uncle, two cousins and my very conservative thinks-I've-never-had-a-sip-of-alcohol grandma. And of course, me and Lindsay. The friend from school may or may not have been there, I can't remember that part, but I wouldn't be surprised considering how weird the dream is. It is the next morning and apparently we had stayed up throughout the night talking in the yard. Never sleeping. The pot/acid mixture had made me completely unable to stand on my own two feet. I was falling over every which way trying to have a conversation with my family. Lindsay, the veteran, is unaffected by the drugs. As she helps me, and laughs at me, I am finally able to shower, get dressed and ready for the day.

Next scene: I am driving my mom's Tahoe, taking Lindsay to do some photo shoot. She is poking around on the side of her door trying to get the window to roll down. Apparently in the incredibly expensive cars that she is used to riding in, the windows roll down with the mere thought crossing her mind. I ask her what we were going to do tonight and she doesn't seem to want to do anything. I start rattling off all of the clubs in Los Angeles that I want to go to, but she seems bored with them all. I'm incredibly disappointed that I won't be going out with her and having my face in all of the tabloids. "Who is LiLo's new bestie?!" (Yeah I'm way too into celeb gossip) After the photo shoot, I drop her to film scenes for a movie.

The End. (Incredibly weird, right?)

Dream #2:

Setting: My room in my apartment, on a home football game day.

Many people are in my room...from what I can remember it is me, roomie, Dru, some of his friends, and some of my friends. It is early in the morning and everyone is excited to start tailgating. Dru has asked me to marry him. (Little truth here: the past two times I have seen Dru - we were both drunk - he has asked me to marry him. Last time in particular, he said 'If I get you a ring right now would you marry me?' Weird considering we don't really know each other that well) So in the dream when he asks, I assume he is joking like always, except he is not drunk this time. I am a little confused and don't know how to answer. I think I just shrugged it off and gave him a kiss or something. Next thing I know I accidentally see a text message he got from a friend. It said, "Did she say yes or no?" Which, I knew was referring to the marriage question. He was serious!?!?!

Something happens and all of a sudden it is night time. Almost game time. Very little time for tailgating left. I am still getting ready and can't seem to ever finish. Everyone else is outside having a great time. Roomie is helping me get ready but time is standing still. I can see everyone from the window but can't get out there.

The End.

I have incredibly strange dreams all of the time, but these were just wayyy out of the ordinary. I wish I knew what they meant. My mom has a dream book that I have used before, but it really just says the same thing for every dream.

Quarter-Life Crisis

I'm 21 and I have no idea who I am. This blog may sound whiny...but I have to write it, for my sanity.

When I dated Gary (for 5 years) I got used to my life, the every-day events, and basically thought I knew who I was. Or maybe I did know who I was then, but now I have changed? I'm not really sure. My whole life was centered around Gary. I think maybe I was no one because I let myself be absorbed by him (through no fault of his own). But now I'm at a point where I want, need, to be me. My only problem is, I don't know who I am or want to be.

I take that back. There are a ton of things I want to be, but don't see happening in reality. I want to be a person who doesn't judge others, who has time to volunteer, who can truly be happy for others even if it inconveniences me. I want to be a better person, and have been trying, admittedly half-assed, since Gary and I broke up.

Gah, this is so hard to put into words and make sense of it all.

Currently, I see myself as average. Maybe even a little less than average. I have no passions. Sure there are material things I love (fashion), but I have no true passion. No great love. In my spare time I read and watch TV, hang out with friends or whatever. For instance, I can associate one word to most of my friends that describes them (and their passion). For my friend Mimi - God. Sister - health. Gary - music. I could go on all day, but the point is, when I think of one thing that describes me I can't come up with a single thing.

I am stuck in my last year of college studying something I am neither interested or uninterested in, but don't have the resources to go back and re-do college. I am at a boring job, that at first taught me a lot, but now has formed a plateau and become repetitive.

I am frustrated with the fact that I thought I needed to get away from Gary to grow as a person, on my own. But it isn't happening. When am I going to have the drive and determination to become someone? To find a passion?

What brings this all on, you may ask? Well...my mom spoke to her friend last night who knows Dru and his family very well. As it turns out, Dru's family is amazing. They have endless amounts of money, all which they are willing to give away. They donate to many charities, take friends on lavish trips, and here is the clincher, allowed Natalee Holloway's family to use their personal jet numerous times to go to Aruba to search for her. According to my mom's friend, they are the most generous people. She said they are super nice and not one of the snobby-rich families. Dru's mom battled breast cancer and survived, does volunteer work, and is basically a great person.

So basically, I'm going down to visit Dru this weekend. I don't think I will be meeting his parents, but I will be with him and his brother all weekend. Here I am, currently feeling like I have nothing to offer, going to spend time with the Mother Teresa's of the south. I'm nervous I won't be able to live up to them, to impress them, or to be even close to being on par with them. I may be thinking too much about this, over analyzing it, but it is important to me so I can't stop obsessing.

I am shy around new people, and sometimes come off bitchy, so of course I'm worried about that. I really just want to be able to be myself around Dru, but I don't know who I am. I have become accustomed to being different people in different situations, so I have no idea who my true self is. I am always worried that my actions/reactions will not please others or I will not be viewed positively through others' eyes.

I welcome any advice with open arms, but I have to tell you truthfully...I don't know what will help? This seems like a problem for a licensed therapist, right? Hah.

So here is the end of my rant, and I actually feel good. I kind of feel like I have organized it into the most understandable, logic way possible. I'm sorry if this post isn't as upbeat as most of my others, but a cold rain came into town today and I'm thinking that has something to do with it.

Let's Play A Game

I was just at the gas station when I noticed an interesting shirt. The back of the t-shirt read, "We call 10 inches small."

Get your mind out of the gutter. I know what all of you are thinking.

Now, I am assuming on the front was the name of the company/group/etc. that produced the shirts. I'm thinking it is a company that makes rulers.

Your thoughts?

Hulabaloo

Random Topic #1

I went shopping again yesterday just for a few key items. I got a new white dress shirt with ruffles down the front. I'm going to wear it all fashion-forward-like, unbuttoned kinda far down with a belt, shorts and some high heels - oh and the collar popped, of course. I think I want this to be the first outfit for going out in LA.

I also got some shorts from Banana that are off white, and a copperish-colored dressy sleeveless shirt.

I am no good at describing things, but if I put up pictures they will seem kind of boring.

Oh well. You trust that I'll work it, right?

I really wanted to find a good pair of basic black pumps because my last ones got destroyed and I can barely stand in them. But much to my dismay, I couldn't find any basic black 'going-out' shoes that I liked in my size! What is this world coming to!?

Random Topic #2

I saw a FedEx truck run a red light today. I mean plain as day. The light had been, and continued to be red for a good two minutes before/after he ran it! Some people....

That van could have had my computer in it that I have been waiting for and won't be able to take on my trip with me because it is taking so long!

Random Topic #3

I recently started...twittering? I'm not really good at updating it as much as most people, but I'm working on it. I almost got into a wreck trying to send in an update. Note to self: no twittering in the car.

I have a terrible problem with texting and driving. A law should be enforced to stop it just like for drunk driving...because aren't they basically the same? ...Not paying attention to the road, thinking about other things and the like? Instead, my fair state along with others, just implemented a law that you can't talk on your cell phone and drive (unless it is hands-free), but it is perfectly legal to text and drive!

I digress, back to twitter. Every time I think of Twitter, I get a picture of a little animated fat blue birdie in my head. I don't think birds chirp, I think they twitter. Is it just me or does Twitter sound totally bird-related?

Random Topic #4

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF THIS OFFICE! I leave for LA tomorrow morning and I am so ancy (sp? is that even a real word?) I can hardly keep still. I am so tempted to find a reason to leave the office early.

Random Topic #5

I have a manicure appointment after work - my first one in over a month! Woah buddy...a little overdue don't you think?

Random Topic #6

WTF happened to USA women's gymnastics last night? Did anyone see that? The Chinese just took it too us. We handed the gold to them on a silver platter. At the beginning with vault and the uneven bars, USA and China were pretty close (but I sort of thought China was better).

Then USA gets up on the balance beam and falls apart. Sacramone fell off of the beam during her mount, then went on to fall on her butt during floor. My fave (and the cutest person alive), Shawn Johnson, stepped out of bounds and so did Miss Perfect, Nastia Liukin. What happened girls??

I think it is because Americans are normal. In China they pick girls from their homes at veryyy young ages (I mean come on those girls aren't 16!?*) and place them into training. Yeah, that's right. They are bred for sports. I think it is sick and immoral. And they talk about it like everything is fine and dandy.

These girls are, in some cases, removed from their home and taken to a location where they live and train everyday. Basically, their life is chosen for them. One of the Chinese gymnasts expressed desire to quit, but was forced to continue. I don't get it. Hearing these stories and being exposed to the Chinese way of life makes me grateful to be an American.

On second thought, good job team USA for being human, making mistakes and earning the silver. I would never wish a life of forced competition on anyone.

On a lighter note, GO MICHAEL PHELPS. Woop woop! I want to marry that kid. Dana...let's get to work on that! :)


*Maybe they will discover that these girls aren't really 16 and give the gold medal to the USA!