I Know I'm Not Supposed To Do This:

Talk about my job on my blog. Beware, there is profanity. I don't even care. I'm fucking fed up. Yes, I am an intern, but NO I do not deserve to be treated like shit after busting my ass for this company for 2 years. I've done almost everything under the sun, from organizing events to lugging 30 lbs of paper up two flights of stairs while the 6' 11" Boss man #2 sits surfing the internet all day in his office. Offer some help to the 5'1" GIRL LUGGING YOUR FREAKING PAPER UP THE STAIRS?!?! NO. He wouldn't do that, because that would be lowering himself to my level.

Let me recall a particular event that probably occurred 6 or so months ago. Yes, it bothered me at the time, but I didn't let it get to me - until now.

Setting: my office (main reception room with 5 cubicles) Boss man #2 is holding a box full of brochures or something as he talks with an acquaintance in the reception area. I'm sitting in my cubicle unable to see the two men.

As they talk, I hear the box rip and fall to the floor, the contents spilling. Laughing ensues, and Boss man #2 actually says this exact statement then says goodbye to the acquaintance, and walks into his office, "HAHA Don't worry about it the intern will get it." Then calls my name.

Let me break this down for those of you confused by my shitting writing when I'm mad: my boss actually spilled the contents of a box onto the floor, laughed about it, DIDN'T PICK IT UP, degraded me in front of a complete stranger, then assumed because he is the boss he doesn't have to bend at the waist. WELL SCREW HIM.

I wasn't really sure what was going on so I never responded to him. A few minutes later, I heard my colleague picking something up off of the floor. Apparently, Boss man #2 actually left the shit there expecting someone else to pick it up! I felt bad my colleague was having to do that, but I was just so stunned that I couldn't even move!

That was the most memorable thing to happen to me in terms of feeling like shit here at this company. 'Company' is a strong word actually...there are a grand total of 4 of us working here, which includes the two owners, the other two of us are interns. Another time Boss man #2 pissed me off was when he asked me to do his daughter's homework. I'm not even going to get into that.

Today, set. me. off. I am always professional in front of my bosses, so today I waited until he left and came straight here to rant. My boss today, asks me to locate ceiling tiles to replace some damaged ones. I realize the other two events seem much more degrading and drastic, but this little shitty request was the final jenga block pull that made the tower fall.

Let me just brag on myself real quick to give you an idea of WHY I should not have to endure these base requests:

1. I am graduating in 11 days with a degree in Business Management - Marketing (what part of locating ceiling tiles is related in any form or fashion to marketing?)
2. I am graduating in 11 days with a degree in Business Management - Marketing MAGNA FUCKING CUM LAUDE. Yes, blog readers, I am smart, and my bosses either don't care to see it or don't want to acknowledge it.
3. I have worked here for 2 years, without so much as a performance review, don't even begin to think raise.
4. I expressed to Boss man #1 how much I intend on focusing on advertising/PR/design marketing once graduation is done (Yeah let me get some good ad campaigns going after I get these CEILING TILES)

So, I've come to a conclusion. If you can recall, I blogged about the possibility of growing here at this company. Well, kids, I'm throwing that one out the window. I in no way want to continue to be a part of this company any longer than necessary. I realize that even if I do get promoted to marketing coordinator, they will still always see me as an intern and I will more than likely be doing the same base jobs PLUS intense marketing campaigns.

It's time to hit the job trail hard. Wish me luck! And thanks for listening to my rant. There is so much more I have to say on the topic, but I realize this post is super long so I'll save it for another day.

Graduation Countdown

There are officially 16 days until I am a college graduate. I have no solid job to rely on when I'm done with school. But guess what? I'm not even worried! My mom met a guy on a plane a couple of days ago who had a marketing internship position I could apply for. That is a huge stretch. And it is Orlando...so I don't know. It would be a cool job, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I definitely want to get out of this city though.

If any readers know of marketing/PR/advertising firms anywhere with a good reputation just drop a comment, I'll check anything out!

Oh and apparently companies are offering tons of internships now because hiring/firing costs are serious. So I know it sucks to have an internship after college, but I might have no other choice.

Moving on, I am in need of a graduation dress. Apparently dress makers across America banned together and said "Let's make a bunch of dresses that Sarah Elizabeth will hate." I just sifted through over 700 dresses at Nordstrom and came out with 3...THREE...that I liked (in order from least favorite to favorite):

PS I am outraged by Lilly Pulitzer's current selection of dresses. Normally, I can find at least 20 dresses I'm in love with on her site, but today, I found 3 or 4 that I would consider trying on.

Well I'm off to search for other dresses floating around. But first, check out my pretty new nail polish! Ah! So springy!

In Response to Bitter Sweet Sunday Post

I have actively started doing small things to help out in the community and possibly influence other people after my revelation Sunday. I have sent an email blast to friends and family to recruit a team of at least 10 people to run with me in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. It is here in Raleigh at Meredith College, and if any of you readers out there know people in the area who would be interested, pass my information along! I would love to get as many people as possible to join the team!

I plan on going to donate blood again sometime this week or next. The Red Cross has been calling a lot lately, which means they are pretty hard up for some good blood - I'll just have to give it to them! After my experience last time, I will definitely be taking someone with me!

Finally, I've been looking into helping out at the SPCA. I am an animal lover, particularly dogs. I think helping at the SPCA would be a great volunteer activity for me. I am a little worried, however, that I will become attached to some of the animals, so this one isn't definite just yet. I need to go visit the facilities and really see what it is all about before I make any promises.

What are your community involvement activities? Any suggestions?

A Post About Nothing...Something?

I have nothing to post about today. My mind isn't working well. I woke up to a sunny beautiful day, but I didn't want to get out of bed. I was dreaming about a really hot guy from my personal selling class. Sigh. But here I am at work, bored, like most days.

I had a phone interview for a job I'm pretty sure I don't want yesterday. It went well, I think. I wonder if he could tell I wasn't that interested? Oh well...bragging about yourself and not feeling bad about it is always fun.

Oh...I know what I can talk about! I had a really weird Friday night this past weekend. Remember The Neighbor? Well, after meeting Navy Boy, I kind of told him that there would be no more nights spent together. After I informed him of this, we only saw each other maybe a couple of times until this past weekend. And each time Rommie and I hung out with him and his friends, The Neighbor always seemed to be in a really bad mood.

So...he texts me towards the end of last week, wanting to hang out (not necessarily just the two of us, but do something). Friday night, however, it did wind up being just the two of us. He came over, we had a drink, then we went to a place called Frankie’s Fun Park. It is the greatest! Probably made more for the 6-14 crowd, we were definitely out of place. But it was fun, and we played games and won prizes and the whole lot. The Neighbor insists that we pool all of our tickets together for a birthday present from him to me. A nice gesture, but weird at the same time. As we leave he says, “You are an expensive date.” Of course he was kidding, but it was just kind of awkward.

We get back to my apartment and start downing drinks. We even play drinking games, just the two of us. At one point he moves closer to me and sits with me on the small ass couch in my living room. I was feeling really weird, but didn’t kick him off. Finally, without any further events, he decides that he should get going. I was relieved. I really got the feel that he was trying to make it like some weird date night. Oh well. I am definitely focused on Navy Boy right now, so that makes me happy. And for the record, I do not ever want to hook up with The Neighbor. Just friends from here on out, please.

Bitter Sweet Sunday

I cried today. A lot. For a man who I hardly know. An old headmaster of mine died this past week. I didn't even know he was sick. My sister used to babysit for him and his wife. They have the most beautiful children. I cried so much. I'm crying writing this. I don't know why. I haven't seen or even thought about this man in probably 6 years. He had testicular cancer that no one found until it had spread to his lungs. I hate cancer. I want it to go away and not hurt anymore wonderful people. I'm scared it will affect me. I'm scared I will loose someone I love. I hate death. It is permanent and takes so much away. That sounds stupid, but it is just so scary. The closest person to me to die was a good friend who commit suicide almost 3 years ago. That was hard. I miss her. I don't want to have to miss anyone else I love. 

His wife kept a blog throughout his journey (3 years). I read it today after I heard the news. It is pure, raw emotion. She discusses the emotional journey - even the worst parts. She expresses how angry she was at him for having cancer. And how angry the kids were at him for having cancer. She explained (without sparing any detail) how she felt at every step. I cried hardest when she described a moment between her son and husband. The son was angry at the father for being sick. The son was scared. She described how the father talked with the son and how the son cried so hard his body convulsed. The son is probably 10 years old. I was so sad. I haven't been this sad in a long time.

I knew him as a headmaster, and not much more. But through her blog I have learned what a magnificent person he was. I am relieved for his wife that the long struggle is over, but I am incredibly sad for the family as well. He was a man committed to making education a better institution and I am sad that he is gone. It surprises me how much I am moved by this particular event. Reading her words and how he responded to the cancer, makes me want to live life for every moment. 

I want to make my life great. 

I want to positively impact as many people as I can. 

I want to stop living this materialistic, shallow life. 

What can I do? How do I change my life?

I'll end this post with a positive...Navy Boy called today. We got to talk for 40 minutes and I could hear him much better because he used a different phone. He wants me to come visit! I want to visit. I'll have to work on the details for that. I'll keep you posted.

Live everyday like it is your last. Love anyone and everyone. I'm going to make a change and it feels great.

No Foodie Friday Here

If you look forward to Foodie Friday, you will most likely have to wait until next week. I've got nothing. But I did wear my pretty new suit to a presentation yesterday...it went well, I guess. This week has been hell - lots to do. But next week is 'dead week' then exams, then it is all over. Yuh. College is O.V.E.R. What!? Where did the past 4 years go? And what the hell was I doing all of this time?

And what am I supposed to do May 11th (the first Monday as a real person)? I haven't been going on interviews or looking for jobs. Yeah, slacker, huh? Ever since my boss told me there was possibility of me growing here, I have kind of taken that for granted. I should be creating a marketing plan for him, but I haven't had time. I should be looking into continuing education or other jobs...but I don't have time, and the only jobs out there are sales. I would honestly be the WORST sales person.

So, I guess I kind of don't know what to do now, and the funny thing is? I'm not even stressed about it. Maybe I should be, oh well.

I didn't workout the past two days and it is killing me. I must workout today when I get home from work. It grosses me out just sitting at this desk feeling like I could be doing something productive with my body.

Well that is it for my random thought process. Have a great weekend everyone!

Growing Up Sucks

I got my first ever REAL suit this past weekend. I have only purchased one 'suit' before this, and it was a POS from JCPenny when I was 17. I needed it to go to court for a drinking ticket. Oh me. This time, I stepped it up a notch, or two. I got this wonderful JCrew number.

I got this 'Super 120 2-button jacket'. It is lightweight and comfy. I can move around and it doesn't make me look like a man (my #1 fear with suits).

These are the 'City-fit Super 120 Classic Trouser' that I got to go with the jacket. Just as light and comfy as the jacket.

Thanks to JCrew's student discount, which I plan to use far after I actually graduate, I got the whole number for right around $320! This made me super happy because the only other suit in the WHOLE MALL that I liked was going to run me close to $700! My jacket and pants are at the tailor right now being sewn to perfection. I will be picking it up today, and wearing it out for the first time tomorrow for a big presentation at school. I'm super nervous already - but at least I'll be looking hot!

Bday Weekend Recap

Well, it was my birthday this past weekend (as if you didn't know from the last post - ha). I had a good birthday, but I can say I have had better. I guess it was because I didn't go out at all to celebrate with friends, I kind of felt like this birthday sucked. In reality, it didn't. I'm just being a big, selfish baby. All of my friends were at home because of Easter, so the only one left to go out with was my sister, and she was being lame (she really had a migraine, but hey - get over it! ha). For some reason, I felt really lonely this past weekend. I’m sure it had to do with the fact I didn’t see friends, but I’m getting tired of being the only one without a significant other. I love spending time with my sister and The Dentist because they remind me of Navy Boy, but it also makes me jealous. I want Navy Boy to be here and BE MINE! Ha…I’m sounding like a crazed person. There is only so much couple-ness I can handle.

OK enough of the sad pity party, I do actually have some GREAT news regarding this past weekend. NAVY BOY CALLED! On my birthday! It was bitter-sweet, because we got to talk for a good amount of time, but he was also calling from a pay phone so I could only hear about 50% of what he was saying (it was all muffled and static-y). He told me that the letters I have sent help, especially on the days he wakes up thinking, “What the hell am I doing here?” He has written two letters back to me, but hasn’t been able to send them because he doesn’t have stamps. I asked if I could send him anything (pictures, stamps, etc.), but in his muffled response, I think he said that they weren’t allowed to be sent anything but letters. He told me a lot more about what is going on and all…some of it I heard, some I didn’t…but I was just happy to talk to him and learn that my letters were helping and not coming off as creepy! Haha! Nothing is definite, but he said he would try to call again this Sunday. I hope he does! I hope I can hear him better and get a chance to ask some more questions!

That call really made my birthday 100% better. Now, if he would just come home…please?

OH! And Saturday night I went to eat at McCormick & Schmick’s (a seafood chain) and check it out…!

A happy birthday wish to me ON THE MENU! Woo! I’m famous…!

Remember the Recipe Journal I posted about? I got it for my birthday! I've been a mad woman trying to fill out recipe cards. I have already ordered more because it only comes with 24! I love this thing.

OH YEAH! I almost forgot to say....THANK YOU for the birthday wishes! :) Y'all's comments and Navy Boy's call were the highlights of the weekend!

HAPPY SARAH ELIZABETH DAY!

22 years ago and this exact time (11:14 AM) I was brought into this wonderful place.

Oh yeah, and HAPPY EASTER, TOO!

No News is Bad News

In this case, it is true. I STILL haven't heard from Navy Boy and it has been over 2 weeks since I sent my first letter! For the past few days, I have been freaking out thinking that my letters creeped him out or something. Or maybe he realized what a dork I am and decided not to be interested in me anymore. Well I know this is crazy and a silly way to think, considering what he is going through. I just didn't want to be one of those girls who is totally oblivious to a guy that doesn't like her (thanks, 'He's Just Not That Into You' for getting all up in my head). However, 'He's Just Not...' didn't write a chapter about being with a guy in the Navy.

So I've turned to other resources to figure out if a) anyone thinks my letters actually help and b) why it is taking so long to hear from him. I know a girl who has a boyfriend that is thinking about doing what Navy Boy is doing. He has been accepted into the program and everything. He was able to give me some insight as to what Navy Boy might be going through and the whole situation. Apparently, they try to 'break' you. They do this by letting you have VERY LITTLE, if any communication with loved ones. He also told me that he may have written a letter, but the officers in charge may not have let him send it yet. These officers in charge are apparently ASSHOLES, because the same source told me they sometimes keep the letters that people send to the candidates (Navy Boy) and don't let them have them for a while!

Well shit! I'm writing these letters to make things easier on him, and if he isn't getting them, well that pisses me off! If I find out that some little jackass is holding my letters, I'm going to have to go up there and show these kids what 'break' really means. Ha. I crack myself up. But really, I mean give them a break...I just hope he is getting them. I'm going to keep writing them, because if he is getting them and they do give him something to look forward to, that is all I can do, right?

If any of y'all know anything about this stuff let me know! I have 2985734956278 questions! Well I'm off...tomorrow is my birthday (and Easter) so we are going out to a dank seafood restaurant to celebrate tonight!

Foodie Friday

I forgot to write the recipe down before I came to work, but I made some kick-ass homemade Cesar salad dressing this weekend. I'll give it a stab and make an update announcement if it changes once I look at the recipe again:

Cesar Salad Dressing

Ingredients:
2 eggs
3 tsp. anchovy paste
4 tbl. lemon juice
1 lg. clove garlic
4 tbl. EVOO
1/2 tsp. Worcestershire
1 tsp. dijon mustard
S&P

Method:
In a double boiler, mix the egg, anchovy paste, garlic and Worcestershire. Keep mixing it or else the egg will scramble. Leave it over the double boiler for a couple of mins to cook the egg enough and melt the anchovy paste. Take off and let cool before adding the lemon juice and EVOO.

I put this over some fresh romaine, grated Parmesan, homemade garlic croutons and boiled shrimp:

Boiled Shrimp

Ingredients:
1 lb (usually makes 3 salads for me) of med-large raw, easy-peel shrimp
Old Bay seasoning

Method:
Boil water in a large pot. Throw in a few tbl. Old Bay and shrimp. Cook shrimp until pink and curled into a C. Drain, and put on a tbl. or two more of Old Bay. Peel and add to your salad or enjoy plain with some cocktail sauce and coleslaw or other side.

Garlic Croutons

Ingredients:
Loaf country white bread
2 cloves garlic (cut in half)
EVOO

Method:
Preheat broiler. Slice bread into 1 in. slices and drizzle EVOO on each side. Broil until golden brown (watch out, they burn super fast) and then rub the garlic halves (WHILE THE BREAD IS STILL HOT) over each piece. Cut into 1 in. cubes. YUM.

UPDATE: See added ingredient to cesar dressing!

Blog Pimpin

Thanks to Muffy over at My Friends Are Sluts, I discovered Mich. She is great and her blogs read like a story. I can't wait to hear more about her new man, Tattoo. GO CHECK HER OUT! You could be rewarded for doing so!

UPDATE: I'm a terrible person and spelled Mich 'Mitch' the first time around. Forgive me, I'm not very observant! :)

Foodie Friday

Well I haven't been very creative since the last Foodie Friday and have no new recipes for y'all but I thought I point out this instead:

It is a 'Personalized Recipe & Entertaining Journal' from Williams-Sonoma. This thing is SWEET! You can put recipe cards, print out, menus, notes, clippings, and whatever else in this book! There are labels, envelopes and best of all you can PUT YOUR MONOGRAM ON IT! I'm a huge fan of monogramming anything and everything, so this little diddy is on my top 3 most wanted things for my birthday. I really hope I get this from my parents, but if not, I'm just going to go buy it for myself! It is only $60 and would be so worth it. Right now, I have recipes strewn all over the place: in cook books, drawers and in my head. This book is just what I need to get organized and start recording timeless recipes that I don't want to forget.

Here is a link in case you want to read up on it a little more (or buy it for my birthday HAHA!):

http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/fn466/index.cfm?pkey=xsrd0m1%7C16%7C%7C%7C0%7C%7C%7C%7C%7C%7C%7Cpersonalized%20recipe%20journal&cm%5Fsrc=SCH

Have a great weekend y'all!

I Hate Thinking of Titles

On days like today when I just want to throw a bunch of random thoughts into a post, I can never think of a creative title. It probably has something to do with the fact that I'm too tired to create a coherent post, let alone a title...so I'm lazy and do ones like this. The tiredness? I don't know what to contribute it to...very few nights do I actually get a good nights sleep. More often than not, I lay awake thinking and thinking and thinking and am not sure if I ever really fall into a deep sleep. Last night was one of those nights.

I am leaving to go to the beach today (YAY!) so of course, last night I was all thinking about what to wear and pack and what all I need to get done today in order to leave tomorrow. Some things I wanted to do but will not have time: go shopping (for anything but mainly a new bathing suit), tan and workout. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I generally only have 1 hour to myself in between work and school. It is exhausting. Also, I have a big test today which I am unprepared for. Sigh.

But hey, I'm not going to let this day get me down. Promptly at 5:45 PM I will be in my car, with my best friend (Roommie), jammin to some dank ass music on my way to the beach for a weekend full of beautiful weather, boating, and of course probably a drink or two...or three...oh who is counting?!

I'm super excited for this weekend because I get to spend more time with my sister and her boyfriend (his name from here out will be The Dentist - because yeah, he is in dental school). You may or may not recall that Navy Boy is The Dentist's best friend (that is how we met). So I have been hanging out with Sis and The Dentist as much as I can because he reminds me of Navy Boy oh so much. The Dentist tells me stories about him and does impressions of him and I just love it! I also get to meet The Dentist's brother this weekend...which excites me because I love The Dentist so much that I bet his brother is equally as great. Sis and The Dentist have only been dating for 5 or so months, but I have already, repeatedly, told him that he must be a part of the family. He is great for Sis and a perfect fit into the family.

In a related topic, I expected to get a letter from Navy Boy yesterday because Roommie and I had calculated how long we thought it would take for my first letter to get to him, and then what day we thought they were allowed to send letters, and then how long it would take for his letter to get here. And all of those IF'S, I thought, pointed to me receiving a letter yesterday. But no. Now of course, we could have been off on our estimate of any of the above, so I'm waiting it out until today. If I don't get one today, I'm going to be nervous I have the wrong address, or he is some how not getting my letters. Ah! But no worries just yet...I'm going to wait this one out.

I hope everyone has a beautiful weekend! And thank you to those of you who were worried for my blog retreat...I honestly didn't mean to do it to pull you out of the wood works, I'm just really bad at pulling pranks and that was the best I could come up with!

APRIL FOOLS

I WAS JUST KIDDING! I'm not taking down my blog anytime soon, that I am aware of. Although my reader following has declined, from what I can tell, and I do have a job search to think of, I just can't give up this free place to go and write whatever I want, whenever I want. I depend on this blog like a best friend. I know I can always come here and express whatever is on my mind and not be judged for it. Well, probably judged for it, but silently haha.

And the few readers left? I appreciate the hell out of you and could never leave you.

I realize this wasn't the greatest April Fools' joke, but hey it's all I got for now. Happy April everyone, my birthday is in 11 days (on Easter)!

Good-Bye Jacks, Yurman and Bobbi Brown

I'm taking down my blog. Here are my reasons:

1. Sharp decline in readers/commenters
2. Job search coming up

That is it. So I've decided it will happen, I'm just not sure when. I still depend on it to pass the time/dump my thoughts on the world.

Finally Some New Clothes!

In honor of my recent weight loss, I have gone a tiny tiny tiny shopping spree. I had to keep it tiny because my finances aren't where they need to be right now. Anyways, I went to Old Navy and stocked up on some great v-neck t-shirts for the coming warm weather and a long dress.

I got this shirt in 5 colors (Light Gray, Dark Gray, Black, Navy and Emerald Green)

This dress, I got in solid black...no horizontal stripes, thank you.

And the creme de la creme: NEW JEANS! AH!

These are my beautiful new Citizen's. I can no longer fit comfortably into my jean collection...going for one size smaller! This is good because I'm thinner, but bad because I have now have well over $1000 in jeans currently sitting idle in my closet.

Anyone else doing a little shopping now that it's spring!?