Dining in the Dark

I really really want to go to a restaurant where you eat in complete darkness. I have read/heard about these types of restaurants so much lately. Since I am making a trip to Atlanta next week, I wanted to scope out the scene. Does anyone know if there is a restaurant like this in Atlanta?

I tried Google, but it wasn't very helpful. Apparently European countries are the only ones running with this idea.

Updates and Oddities

I don't know if oddities is a word, but I like it and will start a petition to have it added to the dictionary if y'all feel the same.

Updates: Things with Dru are going great. I got over my obsession with having a title, and never said anything. Which now I am thankful for. I had a pretty good weekend, went to a football game and out with friends.

Dru had a work function down in Destin, FL. His boss takes the whole company once a year and pays for everything. Dru said the first night he was out with one of the senior managers and about 20 other people. After 4 hours of drinking their tab was...$6500!! Woah. Dru thinks the guy who owns the company (and pays for it) probably spent close to 3 million dollars.

I can't even fathom that.

Also, I talked to him Sunday. I am going back down to visit next weekend. My school has fall break so I don't have to go to class Thursday or Friday. Thursday is my mom's birthday so we are going to drive down to Atlanta. She has to do a little bit of work, but we are going shopping and out to eat. Dru is coming to pick me up Friday night (and go out to eat with my mom and I) then we are driving back to Birmingham. He mentioned on the phone that we could go SKYDIVING on Saturday!

I almost fell out of my chair. The one thing I have ever wanted to do is skydive. Always. I can't remember ever telling him this, so I guess it was just a coincidence. I don't think this guy could be more perfect!

It turns out he bought the vouchers for his dad and him to go for his dad's birthday one year. His mom checked the life insurance policy and noticed that if his dad died skydiving they wouldn't be able to collect life insurance. So...his dad never wound up going and Dru has these two vouchers that he has been meaning to use!

I didn't get to talk to him last night, but as of Sunday he was going to check into it and make sure everything was still a go! I really hope we follow through with this and actually do it! I can't wait to see him either. I wish I wouldn't let myself get so absorbed, but hey what's the worst that could happen?

In other news, this was the weekend that Ed was in town. I didn't see him once. I never even talked to him before he came. I noticed on Facebook that he had told a mutual friend he was staying with Gary. And this is without having talked to me about it at all! Which is nice, because we didn't have to have the awkward conversation and I guess he just kind of got the hint.

He came to town, they went out, I never saw him and then I get a text from him late last night that was kind of offensive. This morning he texts and (jokingly) says 'Glad I got to see you'. So I asked him about the offensive text from last night and he claims he doesn't remember because he was drunk. I refreshed his memory, and asked him a question about it to which he replied, "Jesus Sarah, it was funny at the time. F*cking chill."

WOAH.

I don't allow people to speak to me like that. I think it is completely disrespectful and tacky for a boy to cuss at a girl. So, I didn't respond, and I'm not planning on it. I don't know what the problem was, but I'm going to rid myself of any communication with him. I just don't see why I need him in my life right now. Dru is great and I just want to focus on the good things. I'm almost 100% certain that Dru would never speak to me like that.

But it did kind of motivate me. I think I'm going to start working out again. Why this motivated me? I have no idea. But I'm kind of glad it happened.

OK now that my love-life update is out of the way I thought I would share this with you in light of the Freaky Friday trend I miserably failed at.

I read this blog Dlisted, which is ABSOLUTELY hilarious. It is celebrity gossip by a fabulously opinionated gay man. If you shy away from bad language and crude topics, you may not enjoy this particular blog. However, I love all things racy and straight-forward. Anyways, he did a post today, It's Not Even Halloween Yet!, that reminded me of the Freaky Friday stuff. I hope you all read this post, laugh, then go check out the rest of his blog. It will keep you entertained for hours - I swear.

Follow-Up

More details about my wonderful trip...

Since the last post was so long I decided to break it up a bit. I still have more things to tell everyone about the trip. And, of course, what would a Sarah Elizabeth blog-post be without asking for some advice?

Well you all know how much fun I had if you read the first post. Some other things that I liked about being there was the fact that his brother is just so funny. He is goofy and cracks me up all the time. I'm going to try to set him up with roomie. But I'm pretty sure that won't go anywhere...it doesn't hurt to try though.

Mac, the guy we stayed with who was so nice to me the whole time? Well Friday night he found out that his girlfriend of 3 years cheated on him back in the spring. He was so sad. I felt so bad for him. I guess that isn't really important to the description of my trip, but I just had to mention it. He is such a great guy.

Here is the clincher, the most important part of me continuing to write...

Every time Dru gets drunk he tells me he loves me and asks me to marry him (as I have told you before). One night this past weekend he kept telling me he loves me. This was the night that I hadn't drank that much. So here he is professing his love to me, telling me he is falling for me...and all I can do is say, "Well good." I want to fall in love with him, but let's be real people; I just haven't known him long enough. At one point he asked me if I love him, and I said yes because I knew that's what he wanted to hear.

So the point is: I'm sure he doesn't remember because I had to remind him of everything else that happened that night and I didn't bring up the love-fest. So was this just drunk babble, or does he really have pretty strong feelings for me?

Also that night I'm 99% positive we had the boyfriend/girlfriend talk. I remember him asking if I wanted that title, me saying yes and asking if he wanted it too, and saying yes. So again, drunk babble?

What I'm really getting at is how do I approach the question, "What are we?"

Oh and today is his 25th birthday! I didn't send him anything...but hopefully a good phone call will suffice. Maybe if he does really have feelings for me and we talk about it that will be gift enough.

Advice please!?

Longest Post in the History of Posts

My weekend was wonderful! I couldn't have asked for more! Here is the play-by-play:

Friday:

Got to the airport in plenty of time. Once in Atlanta, I started to get nervous, even though I had a 3 hour lay-over. With about an hour left until we boarded the plane for Birmingham, I hit up the closest bar around. After a disgusting chicken cesar salad (I don't think it was actually chicken), I proceeded to have 3 vodka drinks. I'm pretty sure everyone thought I was going to be drunk. Well I was but did a great job of hiding it.

On the plane I was so anxious. And completely lucky that the man next to me talked the whole time. I wouldn't have made it through the flight without hyperventilating if I didn't have someone to keep my mind off of the upcoming visit. When I got off of the plane I had a text waiting for me from Dru, which made me smile. Before texting him back I HAD to talk to the roomie. She has an uncanny way of getting me to calm down. I ducked into the bathroom and it hit me like brick wall. What if I don't get along with his friends? What if I don't like his lifestyle? What if I find out things that I just can not stand about him? Let's just say I was having quite the little panic attack. I was scared by all of these emotions because I normally don't ever react this way to any situation.

After a few minutes of the roomie consoling me, I finally braved the pick-up. Dru was already at the airport when I called him; he came right up, hugged me and grabbed my bag. Suddenly everything was alright. I wasn't anxious or nervous anymore. I will admit, conversation was a little forced at the beginning, but got better as I became more and more comfortable. He showed me the hospital his company is building, and then we went to his house. Yes, HIS house. He has a mortgage and everything (something unheard of in my world of apartment and college-housing rentals).

His house has 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a beautiful kitchen, living room, sun room and backyard. I was surprised at how well he had decorated. In the living room there were floor-to-ceiling maroon panel window coverings, comfy but classic furniture and a big flat screen TV. The house has a very woodsy-hunter feel, but isn't too dark. I was amazed at how well he was able to make it seem light but dark at the same time. The kitchen is great. Stainless steel appliances, gas stove, and giant mahogany dinner table. Through the kitchen is a little sitting area that leads into his room. Which is a good size, with a king size bed, large desk and master bath. The other two rooms were smaller, but decorated similarly to his (occupied by his brother and a friend from college).

Dru, his Bro and I stayed around the house watching the Ryder Cup for an hour, waiting for the other roommate to get back. When he did we got in Dru's truck and headed for Auburn. The drive was longer than I expected, but fun none the less. He pointed out things here and there for me to see, and I got along with the friend as well. Once arriving in Auburn we went to meet up with some friends at a local restaurant. I immediately met a guy I'm going to call Mac. He was so nice to me. I felt like I had known him for years within the first couple of minutes. So far, I was completely surprised at how welcoming and nice all of Dru's friends were...and it only got better with each person I met.

We went out to the bars in Auburn that night. Everywhere was packed solid. I literally had to push people out of the way to get anywhere. Of course, Dru knew everyone. I think I met/shook hands with more people that night than I have in my entire life. It seemed like we couldn't take a single step without someone calling out his name.

Remember I told you his family has endless amounts of money? Well I will refrain from divulging too much information, but let me just say they are probably the wealthiest family in Alabama and I don't think he knows that I am aware of that. At the end of the night this conversation took place:

Me: Wow you are really popular.
Dru: Everyone just wants to work for my family.
Me: Why?
Dru: I'll tell you in a few months.

This conversation made me smile for two reasons:

1. I want him to know that I like him for more than just his money. So, I am happy he thinks I don't know.

2. He thinks we will be together/hanging out in a few months!

That was my first night. I could go on and on about details and funny stories, but this post is already contending for longest post ever...so I'm going to move on to the next day.

Saturday:

We woke up pretty early, considering how late we stayed out the night before. I got ready while the boys got everything ready to take tailgating. We get out to start tailgating around 10:30 AM. The first people I meet? Family. We immediately run into his aunt? I think? And her husband, son, son's friend, daughters, etc. I had no idea about most of the things they were talking about so I just tried to smile the whole time, hoping that would get me out of having to actually participate in the conversation.

After some more awkward meetings with some of his friend's parents, we finally made it to the tailgate with all of his friends, and most of the people I had met the previous night. I felt pretty comfortable here because I hung out a lot with the Bro and Mac. Everyone I had met the night before was just as nice and remembered my name. I didn't start drinking until pretty late because I didn't want to be the crazy drunk girl. I actually managed to stay pretty sober the whole evening, which is unheard of me.

The tailgate was so much fun and Dru and I actually acted like a couple some times. I think most of his friends were as confused as I am, as to what status we actually hold. Most of the girls I met were engaged, which made me a slight bit jealous. But I felt like it also made them friendly. There is something about that commitment that can turn even the bitchiest bitch into a complete angel.

As we start to make our way to the game, I can tell Dru is drunk. We get in, and he needs to go to the bathroom. So I wait. And wait. I have no idea what is taking so long, but I am pretty sure he saw some people that he knew and stopped for a chat. Still not in our seats, and me waiting, I decide to go to the bathroom while I wait. Bad idea. We get lost from each other, and when we finally find one another he is ready to go home. Keep in mind the game hasn't even started yet and we haven't even made it to our seats. By the looks of him, red eyes and sweaty, I figured I should probably give in and go home with him.

We start walking. I know the stadium isn't far from where we are staying, but it takes a good 2 hours to get home...what, normally, would be a 20 minute walk. Dru's drunk-self is irrational and less considerate than his normal-self. This is somewhat off-putting, but I'm under the impression he doesn't get that way very much. And it isn't so bad I can't handle it. I'm sure if we keep hanging out he will get a taste of his own medicine from me anyways.

Sunday:

Since we went to bed at, oh I'd say 10:30 PM, we woke up at like 8AM. I got ready; we packed our things, said our goodbyes and headed back for Birmingham. We got back with a few hours to spare until I had to be at the airport. This is going to sound sappy and cheesy, but we fell asleep in each other's arms watching football. We said our goodbyes at the airport with a long hug and kiss; he honked a tiny bit as he drove off. I was sad to leave. Actually, I really DIDN'T want to leave. But I did, and I'm home, and all I want is to go back.

So that is the tale of my weekend get-away. There are so many other things I want to tell all of you about my trip, but this post is seriously going to be a contestant for longest-blog-post-ever. I'm considering sending it in to Ripley's. Stay tuned for my thoughts and feelings, and some other interesting developments from the trip. And when I say stay tuned, that probably means I will have another written by the end of the day!

Dreams

I had a couple of different dreams last night. Both incredibly weird and extremely vivid.

Dream #1:

Setting: My aunt's house in Arkansas, but mysteriously in Los Angeles as well.

Somehow Lindsay Lohan and I become fast friends and I become sort of an assistant to her? We are on the back lawn of my aunt's house and she pulls out a blunt. Except for it wasn't a normal blunt, it was as thick as a cigar but shorter. On the end I see these small neon green balls. She informs me it is acid. (Let me just tell you here, I am NOT into drugs. I've never done hard drugs, and don't want to - therefore I am not well informed about them. But I am pretty sure acid doesn't come in the form of green balls. And I'm pretty sure no one has ever put it on the end of a giant blunt...or have they?) Anyways, she starts to smoke it. We are close to some sort of lake, and my friend from high school is a few yards away, watching us, waiting for something exciting to happen. I have no idea why he was there. So we continue to sit there and chat while she smokes. I am close to falling in the water and ask her to help me scoot away from it, but it takes her a while and more of me begging for her to actually help me. Weird. Then we are just chatting more when she offers me a hit. Reluctantly, I take one.

Suddenly we are inside of my aunt's house. Surrounding us is my aunt, my uncle, two cousins and my very conservative thinks-I've-never-had-a-sip-of-alcohol grandma. And of course, me and Lindsay. The friend from school may or may not have been there, I can't remember that part, but I wouldn't be surprised considering how weird the dream is. It is the next morning and apparently we had stayed up throughout the night talking in the yard. Never sleeping. The pot/acid mixture had made me completely unable to stand on my own two feet. I was falling over every which way trying to have a conversation with my family. Lindsay, the veteran, is unaffected by the drugs. As she helps me, and laughs at me, I am finally able to shower, get dressed and ready for the day.

Next scene: I am driving my mom's Tahoe, taking Lindsay to do some photo shoot. She is poking around on the side of her door trying to get the window to roll down. Apparently in the incredibly expensive cars that she is used to riding in, the windows roll down with the mere thought crossing her mind. I ask her what we were going to do tonight and she doesn't seem to want to do anything. I start rattling off all of the clubs in Los Angeles that I want to go to, but she seems bored with them all. I'm incredibly disappointed that I won't be going out with her and having my face in all of the tabloids. "Who is LiLo's new bestie?!" (Yeah I'm way too into celeb gossip) After the photo shoot, I drop her to film scenes for a movie.

The End. (Incredibly weird, right?)

Dream #2:

Setting: My room in my apartment, on a home football game day.

Many people are in my room...from what I can remember it is me, roomie, Dru, some of his friends, and some of my friends. It is early in the morning and everyone is excited to start tailgating. Dru has asked me to marry him. (Little truth here: the past two times I have seen Dru - we were both drunk - he has asked me to marry him. Last time in particular, he said 'If I get you a ring right now would you marry me?' Weird considering we don't really know each other that well) So in the dream when he asks, I assume he is joking like always, except he is not drunk this time. I am a little confused and don't know how to answer. I think I just shrugged it off and gave him a kiss or something. Next thing I know I accidentally see a text message he got from a friend. It said, "Did she say yes or no?" Which, I knew was referring to the marriage question. He was serious!?!?!

Something happens and all of a sudden it is night time. Almost game time. Very little time for tailgating left. I am still getting ready and can't seem to ever finish. Everyone else is outside having a great time. Roomie is helping me get ready but time is standing still. I can see everyone from the window but can't get out there.

The End.

I have incredibly strange dreams all of the time, but these were just wayyy out of the ordinary. I wish I knew what they meant. My mom has a dream book that I have used before, but it really just says the same thing for every dream.

Quarter-Life Crisis

I'm 21 and I have no idea who I am. This blog may sound whiny...but I have to write it, for my sanity.

When I dated Gary (for 5 years) I got used to my life, the every-day events, and basically thought I knew who I was. Or maybe I did know who I was then, but now I have changed? I'm not really sure. My whole life was centered around Gary. I think maybe I was no one because I let myself be absorbed by him (through no fault of his own). But now I'm at a point where I want, need, to be me. My only problem is, I don't know who I am or want to be.

I take that back. There are a ton of things I want to be, but don't see happening in reality. I want to be a person who doesn't judge others, who has time to volunteer, who can truly be happy for others even if it inconveniences me. I want to be a better person, and have been trying, admittedly half-assed, since Gary and I broke up.

Gah, this is so hard to put into words and make sense of it all.

Currently, I see myself as average. Maybe even a little less than average. I have no passions. Sure there are material things I love (fashion), but I have no true passion. No great love. In my spare time I read and watch TV, hang out with friends or whatever. For instance, I can associate one word to most of my friends that describes them (and their passion). For my friend Mimi - God. Sister - health. Gary - music. I could go on all day, but the point is, when I think of one thing that describes me I can't come up with a single thing.

I am stuck in my last year of college studying something I am neither interested or uninterested in, but don't have the resources to go back and re-do college. I am at a boring job, that at first taught me a lot, but now has formed a plateau and become repetitive.

I am frustrated with the fact that I thought I needed to get away from Gary to grow as a person, on my own. But it isn't happening. When am I going to have the drive and determination to become someone? To find a passion?

What brings this all on, you may ask? Well...my mom spoke to her friend last night who knows Dru and his family very well. As it turns out, Dru's family is amazing. They have endless amounts of money, all which they are willing to give away. They donate to many charities, take friends on lavish trips, and here is the clincher, allowed Natalee Holloway's family to use their personal jet numerous times to go to Aruba to search for her. According to my mom's friend, they are the most generous people. She said they are super nice and not one of the snobby-rich families. Dru's mom battled breast cancer and survived, does volunteer work, and is basically a great person.

So basically, I'm going down to visit Dru this weekend. I don't think I will be meeting his parents, but I will be with him and his brother all weekend. Here I am, currently feeling like I have nothing to offer, going to spend time with the Mother Teresa's of the south. I'm nervous I won't be able to live up to them, to impress them, or to be even close to being on par with them. I may be thinking too much about this, over analyzing it, but it is important to me so I can't stop obsessing.

I am shy around new people, and sometimes come off bitchy, so of course I'm worried about that. I really just want to be able to be myself around Dru, but I don't know who I am. I have become accustomed to being different people in different situations, so I have no idea who my true self is. I am always worried that my actions/reactions will not please others or I will not be viewed positively through others' eyes.

I welcome any advice with open arms, but I have to tell you truthfully...I don't know what will help? This seems like a problem for a licensed therapist, right? Hah.

So here is the end of my rant, and I actually feel good. I kind of feel like I have organized it into the most understandable, logic way possible. I'm sorry if this post isn't as upbeat as most of my others, but a cold rain came into town today and I'm thinking that has something to do with it.

9/11

I was a little selfish earlier today, not even commenting in my first post what a significant day it is in American history. As I am sure is true with everyone else, I remember this day 7 years ago vividly:

I was a freshman in high school. At 10:00 each day we had "break." During this particular break we were supposed to go to our adviser's room. My school was very small, I graduated with 18 people. So everyone knows everyone. Most of my classmates were gathered in the designated room, but some were missing. In my juvenile mind all I could think was, "Let's get this meeting over with so I can go have my break."

As I burst into the library, where the only television was, I see about 6 people crowded around watching the news. I find my classmates, tell them in a not-so-friendly manner that they need to stop watching TV and get to the adviser's room so we can get the meeting over with. Little did I know they were watching the events of a terrorist attack unfold. I deeply regret my selfishness and the rude language I used that day, oblivious to what was going on.

Our advisor then filled us in on what was happening in New York, Washington DC and eventually Pennsylvania. I was crushed. I immediately thought of all of my loved ones and who among them could possibly be in the area.

First, my mom, she travels often for her job. I knew she was going to New England this particular week, but could not remember where exactly she said she was going. With fear that her trip was to one of these unfortunate cities I burst out of the room running down the hall (the only hall in the whole school). I crashed into my sister as she came running out of a classroom for me. Once we rush to the office and try to get a hold of my mom, it takes a few tries. No answer. Finally the receptionist gets her on the line and we are reassured she is alright.

Next, my aunt and uncle. My uncle had, at the time, a high profile government job. I will refrain from saying what it was specifically, but it required him to be in Washington DC a lot. I didn't know their phone number and spent most of the day worrying about their whereabouts. My dad was finally able to get a hold of them and reassure me they were in California, thankfully the other side of the country. The last of my relatives likely to be in these cities were confirmed to be away from danger.

School was let out early, tennis and soccer games cancelled. I went home and sat with my sister and ate boiled cookies (which are delicious and I'll try to remember to post the recipe soon). I cried and cried for the people and families of those who were lost. I cried for my classmates who lost friends and loved ones, and was thankful that I was not among them. I took it pretty hard considering I was lucky enough to not be involved. I still think about the lives lost and lives saved on that day. Each time I eat boiled cookies I am reminded of that day, I pray for the families and hope that one day we will live without the constant fear of terrorism in our world.